So sorry. You get to pretend you're someone else? So you're pretending you're not a geek huh? Try that on. Stereotypes? Sorry fat guy, you still fit it, like that shirt you were wearing. I don't know what's wrong with me...
Seriously, I have a problem. Not the one you're thinking. I like containers. Not sexually, but for some reason when I go to Ace Hardware, Wal-Mart, or any other place I always peruse the containers and I keep thinking how I could use them in my house. I've got containers within containers. It was functional at first, got a pile of crap that needed to be grouped together, get a container. Got some small things like car fuses? Get one of those sorters container. Now it's like, what else could I put in a container, or would my smaller containers fit in that big one? Need to vent on someone!!!
Aren't they always? I mean serial and mass killers? It's not like, "Well, it was just a matter of time before he started killing people, in fact, I think that Bob won the pool." They're always normal. And I love how the media emphasizes the fact that he was an "off-duty" sheriff. I don't think it would've been OK if he was. Like we have sheriff departments that authorize the use of deadly force for no reason. The proper response for a noise complaint? Execution. Yup. I guess it's for the morons out there that think that the police would do that.
I remember the days when I had to dress up for a flight. I hated it, but now it seems that you can't wear anything a 90 year-old churchgoing lady would deem "obscene." Patently Offensive? Hehe. Master Baiter.
The only thing that would make this weirder would be if the grandmother would serve as the surrogate. Wow, I thought that was bad, but this definitely takes the cake. Or at least until next week when someone decides to go with my idea...
It was National Porn Day? Ugh, why don't I get these memos? Got to love local news.
In the spirit of local news, I was driving down Rangeline and caught a pro-life sign display. I love those people! I mean, I learned in the 5th grade that if I was going to point out all of the flaws in an idea then I should come up with a better solution. Otherwise, to sit down and shut my trap. "Don't kill babies!" OK, so what do you want me to do? I can't support a child. You want to take'em? No? How about the thousands of others? No? They shut your trap. One less baby out there means one less possibility of them growing up and robbing me later. It's win-win for me.
In the spirit of being mean. God'll take care of the kids.
I love it when a spokesperson uses the phrase "super easy." It just exudes a high level of education doesn't it? Hehe. Super easy...
Showing posts with label local news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label local news. Show all posts
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Thursday, October 04, 2007
me, me, me, me, me
So yesterday I got to hold my nephew for the first time! Yay! Yeah, I know, it's a girly emotion but I can't help it. We had a long time, well, I guess I did most of the talking. Plus, he fell asleep through my speech.
Today, I took the TSA entry test. It was supposed to take approximately 2.5hrs but I got it done in 45 minutes. I didn't do well in one of the sections and there were only two sections... so. At the end of the test the friendly computer screen told me that I would find out how I did within a week. True to their word, about nine hours later I got an email that said I passed the exam. Huh. It was graded that quickly? What the hell were they basing the results on? The attendance? FYI, yeah, I got to look at pictures of the x-rays of luggages. And I got to say, I have no idea what I was looking at. I have no idea what the hell they're looking at when they watch that screen. Seriously!
So tonight in my criminal justice class, we had to use the computer to find a news story and do a reverse police incident report on it. Of course we'd have to make up some of the details but the idea was to get us used to the form used. Being me, I found a great story to reverse an incident report. However, my friend found one this one and I suggested that instead of making it an incident report, make it an arrest report. Hehe. Mr. Potatohead got arrested.
You know you've hit rock bottom when Sinead O'Connor feels sorry for you.
Boy, who'd think that deaf kids could be so cruel? And you know what's worse? All I can picture is the deaf kids laughing... you know that funny way that they laugh because they can't hear themselves.
Haha. Sorry, the primary headline read "China Winning Moon Race." And I thought... wait, it is 1967? Wouldn't it be great if Neil left a note up there? "Been there, done that." And then the Chinese found it? Ha!
Things to die for. Which is not funny, but I'm going to go ahead and guess that they were black. What? Not because it was a violent crime! Geez you racist! I'm going off the names.
Local news: There are a lot worse things in the world than this. Throwing a picture? Geez! What would happen if it was a hand grenade? OK, it was an "explicit" but oh my!
Today, I took the TSA entry test. It was supposed to take approximately 2.5hrs but I got it done in 45 minutes. I didn't do well in one of the sections and there were only two sections... so. At the end of the test the friendly computer screen told me that I would find out how I did within a week. True to their word, about nine hours later I got an email that said I passed the exam. Huh. It was graded that quickly? What the hell were they basing the results on? The attendance? FYI, yeah, I got to look at pictures of the x-rays of luggages. And I got to say, I have no idea what I was looking at. I have no idea what the hell they're looking at when they watch that screen. Seriously!
So tonight in my criminal justice class, we had to use the computer to find a news story and do a reverse police incident report on it. Of course we'd have to make up some of the details but the idea was to get us used to the form used. Being me, I found a great story to reverse an incident report. However, my friend found one this one and I suggested that instead of making it an incident report, make it an arrest report. Hehe. Mr. Potatohead got arrested.
You know you've hit rock bottom when Sinead O'Connor feels sorry for you.
Boy, who'd think that deaf kids could be so cruel? And you know what's worse? All I can picture is the deaf kids laughing... you know that funny way that they laugh because they can't hear themselves.
Haha. Sorry, the primary headline read "China Winning Moon Race." And I thought... wait, it is 1967? Wouldn't it be great if Neil left a note up there? "Been there, done that." And then the Chinese found it? Ha!
Things to die for. Which is not funny, but I'm going to go ahead and guess that they were black. What? Not because it was a violent crime! Geez you racist! I'm going off the names.
Local news: There are a lot worse things in the world than this. Throwing a picture? Geez! What would happen if it was a hand grenade? OK, it was an "explicit" but oh my!
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
find it!
Local news, because local news is hilarious...
It seemed to make sense at the time didn't it? I mean it's playground rules! Someone bites you? You bite back! And you bite hard!
Bouncing babies. No one is at fault here, except for maybe God. You know, for creating gravity and all that.
Here's why I don't drive on I-65. Flying toilets are a big drawback to choosing routes. I don't know if there's any real training out there that can prepare you for a toilet coming at you at 80mph.
Non-local news... because they're just as ridiculous as local news.
Hugs that are too close? Maybe it wasn't the best word to describe what they meant to say. Perhaps they meant to say was "too intimate?" I think that'd do it. And hugs? Inappropriate? Since when? Maybe we'd have less school shootings if those kids got more hugs! Hehe, I just realized I sounded like a hippie.
Wait. What? She was locked inside of a clinic? Eventually she had to call the cops and she unlocked the door to let them in. Um, so why couldn't she just unlock the door and walk out? Oh, because she wanted to make it a huge deal. Sorry, my bad. Just lie there, it's cool, some news reporters should be by soon.
It seemed to make sense at the time didn't it? I mean it's playground rules! Someone bites you? You bite back! And you bite hard!
Bouncing babies. No one is at fault here, except for maybe God. You know, for creating gravity and all that.
Here's why I don't drive on I-65. Flying toilets are a big drawback to choosing routes. I don't know if there's any real training out there that can prepare you for a toilet coming at you at 80mph.
Non-local news... because they're just as ridiculous as local news.
Hugs that are too close? Maybe it wasn't the best word to describe what they meant to say. Perhaps they meant to say was "too intimate?" I think that'd do it. And hugs? Inappropriate? Since when? Maybe we'd have less school shootings if those kids got more hugs! Hehe, I just realized I sounded like a hippie.
Wait. What? She was locked inside of a clinic? Eventually she had to call the cops and she unlocked the door to let them in. Um, so why couldn't she just unlock the door and walk out? Oh, because she wanted to make it a huge deal. Sorry, my bad. Just lie there, it's cool, some news reporters should be by soon.
Friday, September 28, 2007
in the morning of the magicians
Talk about a busy guy. I mean, work, work, work, work, work and work. Whew, when does he just sit back and have some fun? I'd love to see if *all* of those kids are his. Not that I'm contesting his claim but you've got to wonder...
He must use Garnier.
Talk about the worse way to go. And people are bitching about the death penalty? Hell, I say let them swim in Lake Havasu. Take a chance, get a brain eating amoeba. Geez...
High School Nudical, indeed. However, I'm more interested in Biel possibly being named as Wonder Woman in the upcoming Justice League of America movie. That'd be cool. Of course I'm still a huge Linda Carter fan but for appeal to the comicbook world, you could do a lot worse than Jessica Biel. *sigh* She's going to have a whole new set of stalkers...
You may want to use some contacts (see: damnedcat). At first I thought "What?" And then I gave it some thought and said, "Oh..." And I'm not bashing gays, but I got confused for a second when I read: "In addition to anal sex, other risk factors include having multiple sex partners, frequent anal redness or soreness and smoking." Which I took as frequent anal redness, frequent anal soreness, and frequent anal smoking.
And a C-section is implied in the story. 17lbs, that's like 7.72kg. That's a big baby! Developing normally? Uh, I don't think so. The most startling thing though? Not the biggest baby in history.
To die for. And if that's her picture, she didn't look that bad. What they're concerned about is surgeons that aren't plastic surgeons doing these procedures? Lipo is almost always an elective procedure, meaning that there is no medical problem but the patient wants it done. Shouldn't we be concerned the source of the problem and not the symptom? I say her family sues Cosmo and the cosmetics industry for implying that she wasn't beautiful. What can I say? I love frivolous lawsuits when I instigate them.
Hehe. I guess I just look for the funny in the headlines. I was thinking that this was the 9th child birthed in a car, not that the 9th kid was birthed in a car. I mean, by the 9th kid don't you think you should drive faster or something?
Eh, I'm sure the librarian had hear this excuse before. Besides, libraries are becoming a thing of the past (sadly).
Talk about being petty. It'd be cooler if he cut it down the middle (vertically), but I guess I expect too much from a 66yo.
Local News -
Who does the autopsy? And this is one of the platforms he's running on? Things sure have changed in my time. Used to be big issues like budgets, taxes, abortion, and national security. Now it's "I'll stay in office the entire time." Well, I guess the people of Idaho wished this was one of the issues Larry Craig would've promised.
He must use Garnier.
Talk about the worse way to go. And people are bitching about the death penalty? Hell, I say let them swim in Lake Havasu. Take a chance, get a brain eating amoeba. Geez...
High School Nudical, indeed. However, I'm more interested in Biel possibly being named as Wonder Woman in the upcoming Justice League of America movie. That'd be cool. Of course I'm still a huge Linda Carter fan but for appeal to the comicbook world, you could do a lot worse than Jessica Biel. *sigh* She's going to have a whole new set of stalkers...
You may want to use some contacts (see: damnedcat). At first I thought "What?" And then I gave it some thought and said, "Oh..." And I'm not bashing gays, but I got confused for a second when I read: "In addition to anal sex, other risk factors include having multiple sex partners, frequent anal redness or soreness and smoking." Which I took as frequent anal redness, frequent anal soreness, and frequent anal smoking.
And a C-section is implied in the story. 17lbs, that's like 7.72kg. That's a big baby! Developing normally? Uh, I don't think so. The most startling thing though? Not the biggest baby in history.
To die for. And if that's her picture, she didn't look that bad. What they're concerned about is surgeons that aren't plastic surgeons doing these procedures? Lipo is almost always an elective procedure, meaning that there is no medical problem but the patient wants it done. Shouldn't we be concerned the source of the problem and not the symptom? I say her family sues Cosmo and the cosmetics industry for implying that she wasn't beautiful. What can I say? I love frivolous lawsuits when I instigate them.
Hehe. I guess I just look for the funny in the headlines. I was thinking that this was the 9th child birthed in a car, not that the 9th kid was birthed in a car. I mean, by the 9th kid don't you think you should drive faster or something?
Eh, I'm sure the librarian had hear this excuse before. Besides, libraries are becoming a thing of the past (sadly).
Talk about being petty. It'd be cooler if he cut it down the middle (vertically), but I guess I expect too much from a 66yo.
Local News -
Who does the autopsy? And this is one of the platforms he's running on? Things sure have changed in my time. Used to be big issues like budgets, taxes, abortion, and national security. Now it's "I'll stay in office the entire time." Well, I guess the people of Idaho wished this was one of the issues Larry Craig would've promised.
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