and there it is

Hehe. This put a smile on my face. It reminded me of Doofy from Scary Movie. Hilarious. Don't bother him when he's vacuuming his car. Speaking of movie references to stuff in the news, here's one that reminded me of Hot Shots! when Deadmeat ejected from his plane, survived but then was hit by the ambulance. That's what I thought the article was going to be about.

Not funny. Except for the end... "such a stiff sentence is unlikely." Really? You don't think that innuendo is bad in this case?

Ugh.

blame canada

Why is it so difficult to date someone? I blame Hollywood for it all. In the movies we see the protagonist find the girl of his dreams, once the conflict is resolved the movie ends. We assume they live happily ever after. What we don't see is that in two year's time they've drifted apart and want different things. Usually the girl wants to have kids while the guy doesn't think that's such a great idea (for whatever reason, all legitimate). That's not in the movies because that doesn't sell, we all want that fairytale relationship. You meet at some innocuous locale (the coffee shop we frequent), there's some minor obstacles we have to overcome together and then the rest of the relationship is smooth sailings. It takes a lot of work, more work than I'm willing to put into it for just some random girl. Sure it's fun for about the first two weeks but that's it. I don't want to exchange keys, I don't want to have to buy a second supply of toiletries to stock at her place, and I certainly don't want to have to split my time between our places and friends. She doesn't have to meet my family, we don't make joint plans for the holidays and we don't settle down. Bad plan? Probably.
I'm not that bad OK? I'd get in my car and drive cross-country to surprise her, or jump on a plane and fly across an ocean but only if they're worth it. You know if they're worth it too from the get go. Most aren't. For friends and family I've driven (or rode in the Casey, Illinois incident) a day to see, I've gone broke for them but it's because they're worth it. Some members of my family I won't do that for (sad but true) but others I would go to the ends of earth for. I've certainly thought that some girls were worth it but found out that the feeling was not mutual. Plus it's sort of stalker-ish to fly to another place and surprise them. Sure it's in those romance movies, but it's also in the horror movies. Apparently there's a thin line between the two.

Of course I have been speaking hypothetically...

another good idea, bad idea

I'm a big fan of the movies. Big fan of TV shows too. That much is obvious. In a pinch, the good guy manages to pick the lock of his jail cell and saves the day. All he's got is a couple of toothpicks and maybe a paperclip. I always wanted that skill, something to put on the resume. Well, I tried it and it didn't work. The paperclip was too weak to attack the tumblers. Toothpick? Also not up to the challenge. Not to be detered, I spent $40 on a cheap lock picking set to test my skills.
After reading up extensively on the subject I decided to try it out when my lock picking set arrived today. Unfortunately I couldn't spring the cash for the practice lock too, so I used the next best thing my own lock to my apartment.
It took my a couple of tries but I managed to pick my lock! YEAH!!!!! First day! Takes practice, yeah right! This was a great idea right?
Wrong. I accidentally got too excited working the deadbolt lock and didn't reset it like you would a normal key. Result, damaged the whole mechanism. No more bolt lock on my door. It's there and it works from the inside but the key doesn't work in it anymore. Luckily, I still have the puny lock that goes with the door handle thingie (Yeah, that's the technical term).
So, let's review. Honing a cool skill like lock picking? Good idea. Breaking your own lock. Bad idea. Lesson over.

3 fast 3 furious

OK, I brokedown and bought The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift today after work. B and I went to Greencastle and feasted on some GCB's and fries. Got home and popped in that movie. Now, before I get into criticizing Tokyo Drift, I want to share with you some words of wisdom that B gave me.
It's like a porno, the only good parts are the one with action in it. Bad storyline, bad dialogue, and bad characters. Other than those things, it was a good movie.
So let's break it down. The main character is a racer, he gets into trouble and his mom sends him to go live with his dad in Japan; to get away from the racing. Uh-huh. That's like moving to Columbia to get over my addiction to cocaine.
Getting away from that, the boy meets his new best friend, girl (he wants to be his girlfriend), and races against the bad guy all in his first day. Of course he loses the race, because the dumb redneck ain't never heard of driftin' before so he can't not do it good. So he wrecks the ride of another guy's (Han) and now is in debted to him. Now Han is the scholar among a den of thieves. Sure, he works for the Yakuza but he's deep! Yes, the rare breed of racing philosophers.
Getting to the meat of the story. The bad guy learns that Han is skimming off the top and sets out to get even. A car chase ensues, using four cars and lots of traffic and pedestrians.
Here's another glitch in the plot. The object of a car chase is for someone to get away from whoever is chasing them. That's why it's a 'chase.' So what's the fastest way from Point A to Point B? A straight line you say? No! Weaving in and out of traffic needlessly is the quickest way. Derrr, what? Did you learn that at school or something? Yes, it was a beautifully choreographed sequence in which four different cars weaved through traffic each on their own path. Very cool.
Anyway, car chase ends when the main character crashes (no injuries) and then Han gets t-boned (car then blows up). All very sad. Good guy loses girl to bad guy at gun point, then good guy decides to see bad guy's uncle to throw down the gauntlet. Bad guy accepts; the loser moves away. ooOOoo.
Final race takes place outdoors, it looks like Pikes Peak. The race is downhill, lots of U-turns, J-turns, and S-turns. The perfect place to drift; if you don't, you fall off the cliff. The good guy wins through quick thinking, gets the girl, and the respect of his fellow racers.


SPOILER
Before the end credits roll, our main character is challenged by an old friend of Han's, Vin Disel.


So overall, I give this movie a B+. What? It's like a porno. Good action, and that counts for alot in my book.

high fidelity

I'd forgotten how much I loved that movie starring John Cusack. High Fidelity, a Miramax film made in 2000. A romantic comedy about a fear of commitment, hating your job, falling in love, and other pop favorites.
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Top 5 Break songs in sequence.

1. Vonda Shepard - "It's the End of the World"
When the news sinks in; to get you started on your downward spiral.

2. America - "Sister Golden Hair"
Just can't get out of bed? This is the song for you, just roll back over and go to sleep, try again tomorrow.

3. Susan Tedeschi - "It Hurt So Bad"
Bar song. This is a smoke-filled, alcohol dazed type bar filled with friends.

4. Green Day - "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"
Behind the wheel? This is the perfect song to rock out to if you want to just drive and forget.

5. Eamon - "F*ck It"
Just an overall great song when you've finally let go of the feeling.
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Fuck it. I'm moving on.