bring it off

They Brought It Again. You'd think after the 2nd one they'd quit. And yes, I've seen the 4th one. Why? Well, have you seen something so horrific that you have the stare at it? Like if someone blew their brains out with a .45 and it splats all over the wall behind them? It's like that, staring at the splatter stains to figure out where it all came from and what not. Well if you don't know, come over because after watching "Bring It On: In It To Win It" I might just blow out my brains. Not really, but it feels like that. I just wish I knew why I'm watching this crap.

i me wed

I Me Wed, got hooked because of Erica Durance. So hot. Otherwise I wouldn't normally watch the Lifetime Channel. I like that idea that you can be single and be happy. Still, not the happy ending that you'd want for this movie, but nevertheless it is the happy ending of happy endings. I guess it's just a complex love story.





How exactly do you forget their kid? I want to know what's more important than your kid? I mean unless they're the perfect kid that just sits around quietly, doesn't bother the adults when there's company over, and certainly never run under foot while you're trying to get into the house. No, no, no. I wasn't even that well-behaved. I was an angel most of the time but never all the time and certainly not in those circumstances. What? I thought I could get in front of my dad as he opened the door, most times I would make to but then my mom would catch up to me and whup me.
As far as punishment goes, I say sterilize them. That way they can't "forget" about their kid in the car again. Problem solved.

I'd like keep following this story and see if the "my cat was dying" defense works in court. You'd think he'd just speed all the way to the vet's office instead of leading the cops around on a wild goose chase. Like they'd just go, "oh well, he's not stopping. Let's go get some coffee."
And what's the status on that cat? Did it make it?

ooOOoo, an ATM that gives out too much money. It sucks that they've got to track down the people that used the ATM. I say sucks to your asthma.

You know what says I love you? Not a poop picture frame. It kind of says, stay away, you stink. This, on the other hand does say I love you. Well, maybe not but it does dole out the compliments. Maybe as an experiment I'd take the place of that machine. That'd be fun to do for like a week or so right? Just hang out at a busy intersection and dole out compliments.




On a personal note, I'm starting to get my GI Bill payments. Funny, I guess I wasn't getting paid much at my last job because my GI Bill pays more. Yup, how screwed up is that? Oh well, I'm enjoying life now. Getting paid to go to school, well until I graduate and have to pay back the loans. See kids? Joining the military has its benefits, you just have to survive it.

more than meets the eye

Went to see Transformers in the theatres on the 4th. Pretty bad ass movie if you ask me, once you got past all the backstory. Of course my buddy Joe pointed out that as with most comicbook to live-action movie there is always a lot of backstory. There has to be because what's in the comicbook can't always fit into a real movie. That's one of the faults but it shows off the writers' and producers' abilities. Hopefully the audience doesn't have to suffer. So my guess is that they're working on the sequel as we speak. I'm interested to see what they have in mind as far as storyline. Autobots, transform and roll out. How cool is it that Peter Cullen is still the voice of Optimus Prime?

Speaking of comicbook to live-action movies... it looks like Chim Chim is going to be put down. Christina Ricci is Trixie? I always thought Trixie was wholesome...

Huh, my bad. I guess he didn't go with the foreign car theory. Still, he's just throwing punches in the dark.

No natural predators? What are we? Chop liver? I say that hook is a pretty good predator. Unnatural, but still. Maybe some hand grenades or a car battery.

As a guy I have to bring this up. Really? There's a victim here? Well, maybe the teacher. And does it really belong in the "School Violence" section?

i have confidence

Oops? Who else is going to get their identity stolen next? The Bradys? Noooo! There goes the Nick at Nite lineup!

Haha, the police will get right on it, just as soon as they finish their salad. Knife in the door? Probably because the only thing to steal was a salad.

I've got a question, what were they fighting about? Well, if he's got to guard wounded soldiers I'm sure glad he can at least shoot. Oh wait, no he can't. What good is he? And I can't get a job like that...

Yup, another Scientological moron. School shooting about psychotropic drug problem? Really? I'd think it'd be a parental/economical issue. Someday I'll explain. I guess I'm the misinformed one, right? Drugs are the root of all evil.

6/20/07 - the AFI came out with its Top 100 Movies of all time, with of course Citizen Kane retaining #1. Check out the other fun lists.

tomato ketchup

OK, I went to go see Knocked Up with Katherine Heigl and not the 2004 film with the same name and basic plot. I saw it with Joe and Heidi, but that's not the point. The point is that before we went to see the movie we went to Chili's for lunch. Well, that's not the whole point; it's was during lunch when I looked over to the condiments and noticed the Tomato Ketchup container. Tomato Ketchup. Tomato. Ketchup. I always assumed that ketchup was synonymous with tomato. I didn't realize that you had to modify ketchup with tomato. Are they making other varieties of ketchup? Zuccini ketchup? Cucumber ketchup? It's all so confusing. And if you're thinking about bringing up the "Heinz 57" theory, don't bother.

It just irks me, just like people that say, "ATM machine." Uh, dumbass? ATM stands for Automated Teller Machine, so basically you're telling me you're going to the automated teller machine machine. Who are you? Tommy Two-Times? (Goodfellas reference).

And for some lucky girl? This is part of my marriage proposal plan. It's not an empty box but it should be unique enough.

it's a beautiful life

This Filet Mignon is my hero. OK, I tossed the filet part in, she's the 'Grammar Girl' but she is a hero of sorts. Me, I use commas too much. I blame me for not paying attention in English class. I'm trying to work on it since I work at a public relations firm. Still, it's hard work to undo years of training.

*drool* Cars. Really, really hot cars. Eleanor is among them.

The true definition of the term: fan.

I'm jealous. This guy actual makes a living of making fun of bad movies. Damn. I wish I could've done something like that. Oh well, I guess I'll just settle for being a bad pundit.

There's nothing funny about death, but it reminded me of the Zucker Brothers' movie Airplane! and how people were getting sick. The pilot must've had the chicken. And perhaps one of my favorite running jokes of the movie:

- Rumack: "You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital."
- Elaine: "A hospital? What is it?"
- Rumack: "It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."

Where do they come up with names like The Bike Path Rapist? Jeez, uh, let's see. There's a bike path nearby. Was it only the one guy that was raping people along this bike path? Or was it just a popular place to get raped? Ugh, let's get the retard that comes up with these name out of office. OK? You got to come up with something better, otherwise we'll be stuck with watching out for 'The Tall Grass Serial Killer' he dumps his victims in tall grass areas. Or maybe it's a person that kills lots of tall grass. I don't know. Like a lawn mower?

nothing left to do

I wonder how many twins can actually say that they were born in different years? Although they were born 2 months premature, it's still sort of cool. I know there's got to be some cases where twins are born on different days, but different years is just cool. How about different months? And what's next? Different states? It's going to be a competition! Different countries! (i.e. giving birth to one in Canada, drive south to give birth in US.) Ha. That'd just be cool. One kid is a Canadian, the other American.

See? This is the news I like.

FYI, if you didn't know, posting a blog like this is not private. *gasp* Really? You mean other people have access to this fancy-doohicky called the inter-net? And they can read this? You mean other people can read letters, put them together to form words and those words form sentences and thoughts? You mean to tell me my personal MySpace page isn't private? Oh no! What am I to do? Oh yeah, not care. I know posting things on the Internet can actually be viewed by the public. Uh, that's why I do it. It's not like I'm doing this anonymously.

Updating adoption news. The Madonna controversy. Yes, she did not adhere to established laws. The cool thing is that this controversy has stirred up some free publicity for Malawi orphans. Which was the purpose of Madonna's original trip. Well played! OK what erks me (surprised?) is the nun that sent the dad $788 (approximately) and was quoted as saying that the boy would be better off staying Malawi. No one can make a comment like that and actually mean it can they? Not unless they're psychic and predict the future. Yeah, there's nothing that can substitute a loving parent, but love just isn't enough. Love doesn't make the hunger go away, love doesn't cure AIDS, love can't keep you warm at night. Love is great, but there's so much things he'd have access to. Medicine. Education. What if little David grew up to cure AIDS? Or at least made a difference in that field. Can you then say that he would've been better off in Malawi? Yeah it sounds more like the "wait and see" theory but I can't travel into the future (yet) nor can I observe two parallel universes simultaneously (yet).
From personal experience, I can tell you that my life would be drasatically different had I not been adopted. I wouldn't have had access to many of the things I did. Plus, I certainly wouldn't have had the same experiences. But even then, I can't say for certain that I'm better off because I'm adopted. I like who I am now and that's all that matters to me. Can't change the past (yet) but maybe I can do something about the future. Probably not, because I assume that's going to take some effort and that sounds like that'd cut into my TV viewing time.

Speaking of TV viewing. The Sarah Silverman Program. I've been waiting for this for like a year. I love her, she's hot for a Jew. The stuff that spews from this comedienne's mouth is just outrageous and her delivery is what sets her apart from others. Just think of my racist comments, beliefs and jokes, and put them in the body of a hot Jew. That's her! I laughed my ass off when I watched "Jesus is Magic." Although I'm predicting that this will be another one of Comedy Central's short lived shows, I plan to enjoy it. Oh, and in the movie "The Way of the Gun" her rant (7th from the top, 'Raving Bitch') is just classic.

Sarah Silverman (on religion and kids): "Who cares? Different religions. I guess the only time it's an issue I suppose would be if you're having a baby, you have to figure out how you want to raise your baby or whatever, which still would not be an issue for us. Because you know, we'd just be honest, and say "Mommy is one of the chosen people, and Daddy believes that Jesus is magic."

you go first

OK, I've been trying to figure this out for awhile. It started about a month ago (I know, that's a long time to keep this in!) when I went with some friends to go see Superman Returns at the IMAX. Yes I'd seen it already on opening weekend but the IMAX experience is its own trip. I won't get into the physics behind how to make things appear 3D but suffice to say you have to wear the glasses at certain portions of the movie that are "enhanced" and take them off when it's not. To let the audience know when a 3D section is coming up, there's a little pair of glasses that'll flash at the bottom of the screen. Put glasses on. "Ah, nice. 3D." Then another pair of glasses will flash again when you have to take them off. The thing is, everyone did it. There was not a single person in the theatre that didn't put their glasses on. I looked around. And we had the fortune of watching it with the FFA (Future Farmers of America) so probably not the kids that'll make breakthroughs in the field of physics or chemistry.
I was amazed that this was one of the few things that everyone obeys without question. I know that a majority of this reason is because people are focused on one thing, the screen. Still, I missed one of the flashing indicators but was able to tell because everyone else was doing it.
So the glasses everyone understands and obeys, but other things that fall in the same category people don't follow. "Don't stare into the sun." Yup, I was one of those kids that liked to stare at the bright thing and did so on many occasions. Signs on the road, "Merge Left" oh well that's not for me, I'll continue on this part of the road. When everyone else around you is merging left there's still one person that'll keep going down at a faster rate of speed then brake really, really hard, and get stuck in that lane until someone let's them in which in turns screws everyone up because instead of travelling at a steady rate, they're coming in from a complete stop.
In that instance, I will purposely block them in or not let them in. I've been known to let complete strangers take out a few of those orange cones. It's not that I'm hateful (OK, maybe a little) but I'm looking out for the good of rest of the people behind me. Just because you're retarded and can't understand MERGE LEFT doesn't mean that everyone else that can has to suffer. Now what I do sometimes is just mean, but when I'm trying to block them if they want it badly enough they can accelerate and try to beat me. I just make them work for it, but if they run into the concrete barrier hey legally speaking I was in my lane and it was all their fault. I just hope that retard didn't have time to procreate.
So back on the subject, why is that one of the few things we obey? There's so many other things that are in the same category but we can't seem to follow them as religiously as put glasses on. Don't stick hand in paper shredder. Uh, why not? Oh, because it makes an ouchie! Doors that are labelled with those helpful tips like "PUSH" or "PULL" that people just can't understand. Or this one, which I'm guilty of "Dry-clean only." To be honest though, it was in my youth and I learned from it and haven't done it since.

she will have her way

A discussion at lunch sparked my ranting to my friends about the movie 'Million Dollar Baby' which I heard was a good film. I probably would've seen it, not opening weekend but seen it eventually in the theatres. It was just this simple fact alone that pissed me off more than anything which prompted me not to go see the film. The trailers for this movie was ridiculous! I watch a lot of TV so I see hundreds of trailers for movies, but this movie just pissed me off. I didn't see any other trailers for 'Million Dollar Baby' other than the one goes:


In white letters across the screen

"Academy Award winner Hilary Swank"
...
"Academy Award nominee Morgan Freeman"
...
"Two-time Academy Award winner Clint Eastwood"
...
"Million Dollar Baby, now in theatres."





WHAT? What kind of trailer for a movie is that? Sure there's a few black/white screen shots of the movie cut into the trailer but it doesn't help me figure out what the hell the movie is about. Like I'm just going to go see a movie based solely on the strength of the cast. So apparently there's so sort of boxing or something, and I haven't figured out who the million dollar baby is. Is it an actual baby? Like waa-waa? Or a metaphorical baby? What? Is it a million dollars after taxes? Is it too much to ask for a little plot?
I guess I took the whole thing too personally, I mean I didn't watch late night shows featuring the cast or paid attention to any of the other shows about the movie. Still, it just rubbed me the wrong way.

gonna fly now

Stupid outage. Stupid me for trying to post around the outage.

OK, so the new Rocky movie, Rocky Balboa or Rocky VI or whatever is scheduled to be released on Christmas. It is written, directed, and starring Sylvester Stallone. Yeah, seeing a senior citizen getting the crap kicked out of him really goes with the holiday spirit. I was disappointed to see Talia Shire's name not on the credits. I'm predicting that there's going to be a montage scene of Rocky training and they're going to cut in some other montage scenes from all of the other movies.

Well, I just watched the trailer for Rocky Balboa. It's gonna be interesting to say the least. Basically, aliens abduct Rocky after his last fight and cryogenically freeze him in order to fulfill an ancient prophecy. After a thousand years, Rocky is unfrozen and returned to a world that has forgotten all about them. Mainly because they're in this huge intergalactic war with another alien species and losing, the Earth is on the verge of annihilation when first group of aliens intervenes. Now Rocky must fight for all of mankind. His opponent is a six-arm alien with a tough outer shell. Who will win? It's anyone's guess. Rocky's got a personal stake in this too, because if he wins the aliens will restore Apollo Creed!

My money's on Rocky cuz he kicked the crap out of the Russian in IV.


Up next, Rambo IV. Seriously, check it out.