kill me, kill me please.

"Adidas, meet Reebok. Reebok, this is Adidas' best friend, Gandalf." What ever happened to good ol' fashion names? James, John, Daniel, and so on? Yeah, George Carlin has done it before but nothing on this scale. I mean, REEBOK for Christ's sake. Who names their kid after a shoe? Why would you name your kid after a shoe? Yeah, it's a great shoe but it does not make a good name for a person!
OK, Gandalf is a pretty kick ass name but only for the right kind of kid. And unfortunately, the right kid for that name gets his ass kicked all the way through high school. It used to be tradition to name children after prominent leaders, generals, admirals, and presidents. George Washington Carver is a good example. These types of people shaped the world, affected policies on a global scale. David Beckham, on the other, is just a awesome soccer player (married to a Spice Girl). Randy Shughart sacrificed his life to save others against overwhelming odds. All he got were a couple of buildings and a ship named after him. I'd rather have a kid named after a Medal of Honor recipent than a soccer player.
Now Superman is just a great name, but it's not a good given name. More of a nickname. Plus, what if it turns out that your son, Superman, has ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis)? How messed up would that be?
And Arsenal. SERIOUSLY? Again, good team but bad name. That's like naming a kid G&E or Sony. I guess I'm old fashion but I've put a little thought into what I'm gonna name my kids. If I have a boy, Depeche Mode. Yeah, he's gonna grow up to be a rock star because we all know that rock stars make excellent role models. For a girl, hmm let's see. Not Madonna, because she's a bit of a skank. Britney? Nah, I just keep thinking of single digit IQ scores. Oh how about Febreeze? It's a girl's name obviously, she'd smell really good too.

In about fourteen to sixteen years there's going to be a whole bunch of kids going all Menendez brothers. Yeah, can't wait for that to happen.