the petting zoo

CNN. Well, it's news. I've come to rely on such Internet news sources. And no, I'm not talking about an over logging-on of the Internet. It's just that I got to CNN for news, albeit sometimes for funny news but news nonetheless. However, I do not go to CNN for apparel. No, I don't want a t-shirt with a "catchy" slogan like 'Hips Don't Lie' singer pushes education. - I just saw it on CNN.com...

And you think Iraq is bad? Ha! At least in Iraq you can shoot back. As if that would've helped the body count in Chicago. My question is, do you need an AK-47 to shoot up a plumbing store? Was the plumbing store the target? What did the plumbing store do to deserve to be targeted?

Wasn't making a political statement? Well, I suppose the meaning of the message is that we need to spend more money on education in South Carolina, especially Jonesville. I gotta wonder how many people actually attend the Jonesville Church of God with the population of Jonesville at 1,000. Perhaps it is the only church in Jonesville and everyone is God-fearing there. Well fear no more Jonesville! Your education funding is on the way!

I wish there was a stupidity law on the books. In a road rage incident, the person with the gun is supposed to shoot the other person. In this instance, he shot himself. Not that I want him to shoot someone else, but really, gun control means using both hands.

That must've been one big ass turkey or a puny 9 year-old. I'm gonna go ahead and call it, alcohol was a factor.

I never understood why there had to be compentency tests for these people. You wanna use the 'insanity' defense? Fine. Death. What? It's not like his 'compentent' enough to know what's going on. Just tell him you're taking him go see rabbits. That's right, I've read Of Mice and Men.

Stop. Hammer time. I was going to do the Entertainment Weekly version of this joke like: "Muslims want to replace Greenwich Mean-Time with Mecca Time. Meanwhile, MC Hammer petitioning for Pacific Time to be replaced with Hammer Time."