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Apparently, some time after 10am on Tuesday, my downstairs neighbor was outside doing some gardening when she came across a black cable. Thinking nothing of it, she hacked away cutting that cable and thereby severing my connection to the outside world. Nah, she just cut my Internet access and cable TV.
It is now Friday and the Internet and TV have been restored. I know what you're thinking. Someone like me going without both of those things for 3 days would be crazy. And it would be too had it not been for the Stargate SG-1 marathon I was conducting at the time. 10 seasons, each with 21-22 episodes (42 minutes a piece). Not a bad way to pass the time.

Thong injury? Yeah, not what I thought it was going to be. I was thinking something along the lines of an atomic wedgie. Huh, shows you how much I know about women's underwear because I didn't know they came with decorative metallic pieces. Plus, I don't want to think about 52 year-olds purchasing or wearing thongs. And I wonder why they didn't allow them to see the evidence.

Holy c-section Batman! 28lbs? Twins? Uh, that's huge. And somehow they managed to compare it to the other largest twins in the state, which was 18lbs. Geez. What the hell were they feeding them? Steroids? There's healthy and there's obese. I'm just saying from a statistical standpoint, if say a healthy baby is somewhere in the vicinity of 7lbs, those twins were 28lbs and average that out to 14lbs a baby, then those babies are twice as heavy as a normal baby. Of course looking at the glass half-full, we come to the conclusion that the twins are twice as healthy. Welcome to the world kids.

I am Cornholio! I need TP for my bunghole. Cocaine is a helluva drug.

What the hell is going on in Canada. No seriously. Because the last time I checked, it costs money to take someone to court. And unless allowances have gotten bigger, I can't imagine a 12 year-old having that kind of funding. So I'm guessing that either she got financial support from a third-party or someone did the work pro bono. Since that means adults. You can't sue your parents because you think a punishment is unfair! And the punishment was "too severe?" No, this is severe. And this is severe. (To clarify, I still don't think they can be described as "torture.")

I'll say it again. Cocaine is a helluva drug. WTF? Is that what's cool now?