Aww. I was so disappointed. The link from the main page was "Son charged with hoe killings, cesspool burial." I thought, "Hoes! Yeah, sometimes you gotta kill some hoes to get the rest to fall in line. Gotta keep that pimp hand strong." Unfortunately, it's just a kid that killed his parents with a garden hoe and disposed their bodies in a septic tank. Damn, I just couldn't care less about it now.
Legally intoxicated? How about legally stupid. How drunk do you have to be to not understand that opening a door mid-flight can be hazardous to your health? I really want to know, because I've never been that drunk. Sure, I've passed out and suffered the effects of alcohol poisoning but never been drunk enough to think that opening the door mid-flight was a good idea.
After 18, that 'thing' must just be wrecked.
To end this report, here's a video to make you smile. Geriatric porn star.
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