how does that work?

I saw this news report on TV and I thought something was weird about the whole thing. I mean, missing a whole month before the child was reported missing? What the hell? Did she go on a vacation while someone else was babysitting? Oh, but the "babysitter" never existed apparently, because the police can't find any record of a person living at the place. Maybe she was scammed? Like a fake babysitter. What luck this woman has, she happens to leave for a month and leaves her kid with a kidnapper. That's amazing, she's the unluckiest person alive.

A loaf of bread costs 100 billion dollars? Granted its Zimbabwe dollars but that's still a lot of money. Imagine what you could do if you went over there and exchanged a few dollars on the currency market. You could walk away with billions of dollars. Gotta love that hyperinflation. The same people that figure out what things are worth do our math too. Dumbasses. Dude, do you know what $1.5 million in toilet paper looks like? Or $36 million in sporks? They must be charging toilet paper by the square.

He's just moving like Forrest Gump. That'd be sweet. Although I imagine almost as expensive as driving. You gotta feed those horses.

You'd think that it could run faster, but weird. Not that 6-legged part, but that a vet would be reluctant to release it back into the wild. Sure you're probably wondering how the hell, but I'm wondering if it is functional.

Hmm. A thief or a moron? Suspected thief, convicted moron.

My guess would be a disgruntle zebra but that's just my opinion and she seems to have a solid alibi.