grab it

Oh. What are you trying to grab? Nothing? You're just reaching. OK. Sorry, I don't buy into the superstition. It's just fun to poke fun at. It sucks that Isaac Hayes and Bernie Mac are dead, but that's life. It's not like someone is out there killing celebrities by the threes. That'd be a good movie.

That's clever. The porn police. I just want to know if anyone actually fell for the "porn police" trick. I don't think they'd admit it. You know, that'd make for a great t-shirt.

Well, the problem seems to be that their 1 Mind is defective. Sometimes I think it's better to go without the rest of the world, but this seems a little extreme. Not the whole "birth without doctors" but the notion that if a 19-month old doesn't say "Amen" that you should stop feeding him and put him in the suitcase.

That doesn't make sense. Not that whole spending $147K on the license plate "1" but the fact that the high bidder wants to remain anonymous. I mean, people are going to see them driving around and know who they are right? That's the point of the custon license plates. It'd be easy to fill out those damn forms that ask for your license plate number.

Apparently they never heard of that you can't beat a dead horse. The producers of "The Mummy"are really trying to beat that horse. "The Scorpion King 2" and "The Mummy 3" not exactly good works. Either come up with a new idea or just get out of the business, you're just making things worse by grasping at those straws.

This is not good news. Definitely. Bad news. Cloaking technology? Yeah, I just can't put in to words how bad this idea is.

it don't GITMO better than this

That seems to an overreaction to me. I mean, yeah sure she probably shouldn't have been sticking her nose in other people's business but they were breaking the law. OK, it was a bit extreme, at least no one lost their head.

I can't imagine anything more un-special. Kissing Scarlett Johansson? Kissing Penelope Cruz? Whew. That's a good day.

To be more exact, it will not only melt the shoes off your feet, but your feet off your legs as well. That's hot.

Oh the other hand, this would make me crap myself. While this is not unexpected.

To all you human rights activists, laugh at this. It can't be a "torture" technique now can it? I mean, you wouldn't call a ride on the ferris wheel a torture right? Well, depends on who you go with I guess. Thanks Spongebob for the title.

to appease zebra

1. How much exercise do you get in an average week?
Answer: Couch to bathroom, apartment to car. About 1400 steps a week.

2. Do you make an effort to fit exercise into your daily schedule?
Answer: Absolutely! It just never works out because I'm too lazy.

3. Is there any part of your body that you feel could use a little extra work?
Answer: Yes. Today, I sat down and popped the top button on my shorts.

4. What time of day do you prefer to work out?
Answer: Yesterday. Or tomorrow, whatever works.

5. What kind of music or what song gets you pumped to work out?
Answer: Military cadences.

it's not that

So being too fat can save your life? No? Maybe it's the medicine, because God forbid a convicted killer be in pain or discomfort. Whew, that'd be downright unneighborly. Screw it, I say we let them in a huge stadium, toss in a knife, and then seal it. That'd be a good reality show. Possible titles: "So You Think You're Innocent?", "Inmates Gone Wild", "American Inmate", or "Death or No Death."

No! A nerd is slighted by sorority girls? *gasp* And KKG? Most of the Kappas I've known have been awesome. Awesomely hot too. Dare I say incredibly? But seriously I'm a geek and I've never felt slighted by them. "Offender behavior?" More like psycho behavior. I wouldn't be surprised if he chopped up people.

just forget about

Some times you can't use the threat, "I'm calling the cops..." to motivate people. Although I'll admit that it is a crime to leave off the sauce in a Subway sandwich. Still, it may have been a bit much to call 9-1-1 about the sauce. Then to call again to complain about the response time. I'm sorry, but sandwich sauce doesn't quite rank up there with other crimes that require a quick response by law enforcement.

I think I saw the movie, back in like 1990 or something. Not exactly news if it is 18 years late. I can see where they might be forget stuff or a kid. That's a lot of stuff to look and it only gets worse when you're late.

Go Greyhound! And yeah, I've made this mistake and had this mistake made about me. Still, I don't know how this is a crime. Not that I'm making light of this situation. It's just that I have to point out the obvious.

Skydiving isn't really an accident, not a lot of people accidentally skydive. Skydiving doesn't kill people, most deaths occur from the sudden stop at the end, due to in part to parachute malfunctions.