caroline's

Probably at the top of the list of places not to start a stand up career? Iraq. Here's why. Talk about a tough crowd...

People in Iraq are killing comedians, here at home though we're worried about drunk driving. MADD wants new hi-tech gadgets installed into all drunk driving offenders' vehicles that breath-tester interlock thingie. Yeah, my solution, fill up prior to visiting bar and leave car running while I drink. Drunk driving is a problem, but the real problem is old people behind the wheel. In a recent discussion with friends, I had devised a plan new driver's test. More complex than the current one but would cost millions to implement and maintain. The basic premise is put cars into more select classes, rated by visibility, manueverability, and handling, then test people individually to place them in certain categories before even testing them in a car. Obviously, grandpa with a heart condition and blind in one eye should not be out driving a 700-hp Dodge Viper, even if he can afford it.

Terrorists or U.S. immigrant officials. You decide. Apparently others have decided that our immigrant officials are more hostile than terrorists. Huh. We're the most unfriendly country (to get in) and then you just have to worry about old people driving through the marketplace and hitting you. As opposed to places like Iraq where they just kidnap you, then videotape your beheading to send to your family. Yup. I guess though, if you're more afraid of immigrant officials than terrorists they must be doing something right.


Good job America! Your order of priorities hasn't shifted.