Thursday, August 31, 2006

Stargate SG-1 says farewell

EW is reporting that the SCIFI channel has decided not to renew the longest running science fiction tv show, Stargate SG-1. After ten long years, the epic is over. The viewers will mourn the loss of such a great television show. However, my heart goes out to the cast. I don't think they will have much of a career after this. I'm not saying this to be mean, but just to state a fact that many actors (no matter how good they are) get typecasted after playing a character for many years. For example, when I say Ed O'Neill people automatically think Al Bundy. No matter what you might see him in, as soon as you do you think of Al Bundy.
In the geek-dom of science fantasy, Amanda Tapping is queen. She plays Lt. Colonel Samantha "Sam" Carter on SG-1, an expert in astrophysics, quantum physics, and just all things geeky. She is a geek's dream come true; there have been other notable scifi hotties but none truly compare to Amanda Tapping. She is the geek next door.
I feel partly responsible for SG-1 being cancelled, I haven't been able to watch the last two episodes. Yes, I have a DVR but it is on the fritz and I plan to chuck it through the local cable company's window soon. This week is the viewer's choice episodes, which I will watch. Next week I can't watch the new episode and after that is the mid-season cliffhanger. I am interested in watching how the writers will end the series. There have been many notable series finales, I think this one will be good too.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

freaks and geeks

Great Debate
Nerd vs Geek

I consider this one of the new classic debates, joining the ranks of ‘which came first? The chicken or the egg?’ and ‘is there a God?’ There is a sense of pride for some to be known as a geek or a nerd, and some distain when you are a nerd and called a geek, or vice versa.
I am a geek. Sad but true. There’s my DVD collection, currently over 400 titles and growing. I like technology, I have two laptops, two cell phones (one is a Blackberry), a 60GB iPod, 1GB iPod shuffle, a Sony PSP, Gameboy Advance SP, a digital camera, and other devices. Then, in my car I have cell phone kit, a CB radio, radar detector, and a power converter. I also retain an intensive knowledge of Star Trek trivia, I own all 6 Star Wars movies and the cartoon episodes between Episode II and III, I like math and science, and I am socially awkward. Don’t get me wrong, I have social and communications skills but I enjoy the company of myself more. I also have knowledge of recent military history, weapon systems, and military strategy. The only books I read are directly related to whatever subject I am interested in.
Nerds, on the other hand, are more bookworm-ish. Both nerds and geeks are highly intelligent, but geeks tend to focus on the science & technology and nerds are book-smart in most other subjects. It is debated that geeks come from nerds, just that they are science nerds. Neither geeks nor nerds have any real ‘street-smarts’ and thus both tend to be less social.
I like this analogy of nerds and geeks, taken from Wikipedia. While a nerd and a geek would both have the intelligence to do well on an exam, a nerd would spend the night before studying no matter the distraction, while a geek might be more likely to be tempted to spend the evening playing video games or chatting online.
Many times I have spent time online or playing a video game instead of studying. Yes, I did well, but not as well as I could have had I just sat down and studied (this was pointed out by my professors on many occasions).
I adamantly defend my geekness, I am not a nerd. Do not confuse me for one.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

half dead cat

According to the theory of quantum mechanics, there are an infinite amount of universes. For every left that you have taken, there is a universe where you took a right. Well, maybe infinite is too much but I’m sure it’s up there. So that means that right now in some alternate universe there’s an alternate me writing an alternate blog about an alternate universe where he’s writing an alternate blog too.
There’s a famous thought experiment, Schrödinger's Cat, where a scientist places a cat into a closed box where he can’t observe the cat. Inside the box is a gun pointed at the cat, the gun is set to go off if a radioactive isotope decays. So when the gun goes off, there are only two possibilities; either the cat is dead or the cat is alive. Right? Well, that’s the world according to ‘normal’ physics, but according to quantum mechanics the cat is both alive and dead. How can that be? You can’t be half dead or half pregnant, either you are or you aren’t so which is it?
Well, quantum physicists like to explain this by saying that everything maintains all possibilities until observed. So the cat isn’t dead or alive until you open the box to see if it is alive. This example is the best explanation of light. Is it a particle or a wave? Both? But how? Until next time.

Monday, August 28, 2006

rubber ducky, this is mack granddaddy

The Over-50 Crowd Takes To The Road in Paid Big-Rig Gigs
Crap. Old people behind the wheel of an 18-wheeler. Watch for continuous left-turn signal lights for the next 50 miles.
Yes there's a shortage of long-haul drivers, people just don't want to be away from home three weeks out of the month, I understand that but are old people the solution? Yes, old people drive RVs but that doesn't take a special license. You need a Class A license to run a tractor/trailer and bad-ass skills to negotiate metropolis traffic.
My buddy Darius drives a tractor/trailer, long-haul for a United agent. He loves the open road and the opportunities it provides. Sure he's away from the house 25-28 days in a month, but being a driver gives him the chance to visit family and friends scattered across the country. It may only be for a day or a meal, but he's getting paid to be there. Plus, his truck is pimped out (not like the show) he has internet, XM radio, a fridge, TV, stove, and a sink. He also takes his motorcycle with him so that if he's stopped somewhere, he can run to the store or see the sights relatively cheaply.
I'm just scared now that I know there are more and more old people truck drivers on the road. I drive a tiny car that is in a driver's blindspot for about 90% of the time when I pass them. And trust me, they wouldn't notice if they accidently ran over me, well maybe a little damage to the undercarriage but that's it.
Maybe it's time to look into taking public transportation...

gone.

After my post ($544M Down The Drain) of employees' wasted time on the corporate dime, one of my favorite websites, Office Pirates, closed down. Coincidence? Conspiracy more like it! The government's out to get me! I got my tin-foil hat on so that the Man can't scan my thoughts with their ultra-secret satellites in geo-synchronize orbit.
I liked Office Pirates, it was my daily dose of news comedy. Like the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, only funny. There were jokes (updated daily), a section from the viewers about stupid stuff they spot, women walking around at lunchtime, and even an angry rant page! Pictures, wallpapers, and cards were available and videos for your viewing laughter. Advice and disses were given out freely and equally.
Now what am I going to do throughout the day that's semi-informative and usually funny? Damn you economy! I'm going to miss you Office Pirates!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

grey's anatomy

I can't believe I opted for a repeat episode of Grey's Anatomy instead of a new episode of Mind of Mencia. It was a good episode, the one after George sleeps with Meridith and she cries uncontrollably in the middle of the whole thing.
What I can't believe either (seems that I don't believe a lot of things) is that ABC decided to move GA to Thursday night. Moving nights usually results in a drop in viewers, or worse, a harbinger of cancellation. I hope it's a power move against NBC's Thursday night lineup but still... I understand moving to split up the Desperate Housewives/Grey's Anatomy power house on Sunday nights. Trying to team up weaker shows with strong shows has worked in the past, a good example in recent history is Will & Grace, added in between Seinfeld and Friends. However, I can't think of an example of when it worked for an hour long dramedy.
Besides the characters, character interaction, storylines, and medical knowledge, I love the fact that it's on Sunday nights. Before I have to start a week at work, I'll have that little to get me through it all. I go to sleep happy on Sunday, wake up happy on Monday. Now what do I have? Nothing! Damn you ABC!
Yes, I will watch Grey's Anatomy on Thursday nights, but I won't enjoy it as much as I did on Sundays.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

the forgotten, but not.

How the hell did my dad forget to tell me that my great aunt Lucielle died two weeks ago? How the hell did anyone forget to tell me until today? SERIOUSLY???! What the hell is going on? I only got to visit a few times when I was younger and recently saw Lucielle at my mom's funeral. My great uncle Homer died two, almost three years ago. I was in Iraq at the time and unable to attend the funeral.
Homer had fought in World War II in Europe, there are lots of letters home. They all read like they're straight out of the movies. I guess vice versa huh? Still, not much has changed in letters since those times to today.
I plan on scanning all of the letters into the computer at a later date, or maybe even try my hand at scrapbooking or something. I could just frame the letters and what not, it'll be a project for me.

army times.

Well, it's the time of the month. Not that! My two-day commitment to the Army Reserves. Yup. But now instead of calling it 'drill' they call it 'battle assembly.' Why? I have no idea, it sounds tougher maybe but we do the same things.
Today we had a pop quiz. The test? Urine. Unfortunately for me, about twenty minutes before they told us, I had used the bathroom. So I spent about two hours studying for my piss test. In the Army, you need a 75% to pass. I hope I got that, last time I scored at 74% and they made be retake it. Here's how the test goes, a computer generators a list of people in the unit at random and they pee in a cup while someone watches. Somehow though, more than 50% of the unit was selected at 'random' for this screening. Back in the day, they'd only do 10% maybe 15% but the Reserves are different. They select over 50%, taking 90% of the leadership and sticking them in one room for several hours while soldiers run around unattended.
Let me put it to you this way. If the government were to go into your neighborhood and select people for screening, they took 90% of the parents and left the kids on their own. What kind of chaos can you imagine? Now multiply that by 10. Basically all the bad parts of the bible. Nah, we're not that bad, but it is stupid.
Well, tomorrow is 'family day' at the unit. I think my dad is coming down, maybe, if he wakes up early enough to make the drive. Who knows though? That dude's ancient.

Friday, August 25, 2006

$554M down the drain.

According to ABC News, businesses lost an overall $544M this year, in salaries to employees goofing off. In a survey conducted by Salary.com and America Online, employees 'waste' an hour and fifty minutes a day. This includes, surfing the web, running errands, socializing with co-workers, and zoning out. I don't know about those numbers, I'd think there'd be more time wasted but maybe there's a huge business where the employees are like machines, just work, work, work. My guess would be that people understated the time they spent goofing off.
Me, I 'waste' about five hours at work on the internet. I'd admit it too on an anonymous survey. That'd average out with two people that said that they don't 'waste' any time during the work day. That can't be right can it?
I make myself sound like a bad employee don't I? I should clarify that I also come in about 30 minutes early, don't take lunch, leave late, and work from home. I'm salary, I don't get overtime, I don't have to punch-in or out. Just as long as I meet my deadlines I'm good, so what if I surf the web or take a personal call at work? It just so happens that most of my brillant ideas work the same hours I do, 9am-5pm.

Sidenote: I just an email from my boss replying to my update on a project I'm currently working on, telling me to keep up to good work.
http://www.yahoo.com/s/376297

Thursday, August 24, 2006

high fidelity

I'd forgotten how much I loved that movie starring John Cusack. High Fidelity, a Miramax film made in 2000. A romantic comedy about a fear of commitment, hating your job, falling in love, and other pop favorites.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top 5 Break songs in sequence.

1. Vonda Shepard - "It's the End of the World"
When the news sinks in; to get you started on your downward spiral.

2. America - "Sister Golden Hair"
Just can't get out of bed? This is the song for you, just roll back over and go to sleep, try again tomorrow.

3. Susan Tedeschi - "It Hurt So Bad"
Bar song. This is a smoke-filled, alcohol dazed type bar filled with friends.

4. Green Day - "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"
Behind the wheel? This is the perfect song to rock out to if you want to just drive and forget.

5. Eamon - "F*ck It"
Just an overall great song when you've finally let go of the feeling.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fuck it. I'm moving on.

the remote doesn't work, my brain's broken

My friend Matt, the one with the 55-inch screen plasma HDTV, brought this to my attention. Last night I was watching a dvd at his place. I leave. And today he calls me asking me why if I broke his TV, cuz it doesn't turn on. Now it worked fine when I left, so I know that I didn't break it. And knowing Matt, I don't rush right over because he's the type of guy that would use his cd-rom as a cupholder.
So I walk him through the power on procedure. (Yes, it is just push a button) Then I remembered that he has one of those universal remotes, I asked him which button was lighting up. He said none. Apparently he had the dvd remote in hand and trying to turn the TV on with it. Finally I got him switched over to the universal remote, pressed the little 'tv' button and then power. Wow, it's like magic!
People are stupid, not the machines. Next time you think something's broken, step back and think, it's probably you. Me, I'm a fricking retard.

hey, you up?

This is spurred from a call at 7:30 this morning. My buddy Bill called me, I answered, and he says, "Hey you up?" No dumbass, I frequently answer my phone while still asleep! Oh no! I'm sleep-answering again! Just when I've conquered sleep-walking and wetting the bed! Answering the phone and saying, "Hi Bill" is something I do every so often in my sleep. YES I'M UP!
He also likes to ask me things like, "What you doing?" I'M TALKING TO YOU ON THE PHONE, YOU MORON. But instead I give him the universal "Your mom" answer. I understand that he is asking if I'm doing anything important but let me tell you right now, if I answer the phone then I'm not doing anything more important than answering the phone. I have time, but not for asinine questions. I think I'm going to start answering that question with random events.
My favorite though is "What you doing later?" What am I? A fortune-teller? It's later, meaning in the future. If I knew for sure what I was doing in the future I wouldn't be here huh? The future is unknown. Sure I could plan to go out to eat at TGI-Fridays but my apartment could catch fire and thus negate my plans. Now if you had asked me if I have plans, then yes I have plans. Are they important? Nah, I can break them if necessary. Specifics people! Stop wasting time that could be better spent. We're already friends, that's not going to change because you aren't wasting my time. Especially my daytime minutes on my cell.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

time well-wasted

Yeah, not the Brad Paisley song.

I spent a good hour on this blog layout. Yup. Sure I'm supposed to be researching media contacts or scheduling meetings but this seemed more productive. There's funny comics now at the bottom from http://explosm.net. I'm still making modifications to the layout but I'm headed in the right direction, and no, I'm not going to use up my personal time that's why I do this 9-5.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

i <3 my blackberry

Not really. Now that I'm hooked to the internet (literally) at the hip, I don't have any excuses. Email gets automatically sent to my Blackberry, which vibrates or chirps at me. Everything, from all three of my email accounts, work, personal, and the Army. Plus, there's also Yahoo messenger on there, it keeps track of my meetings, and internet access. Oh yeah, it's also a cell phone.
Actually, I'm in the middle of the Blackberry issue. Email alerts keep me from wasting time checking email. Now I can just look at the title on the message screen to see if it's worthy of my time, if not then I go back to work. Also, because of the time difference, I know can IM my kids in Iraq. Usually they get off shift when I'm at work or asleep, now I can interrupt work to talk to them.
The downside? The flashing LED light and the midnight emails wakes me up. And I can't use, "Well I didn't check my email" excuse doesn't work. It's big, a little awkward but rather light. I am getting used to the keypad, typing is getting easier with that thing but I don't think I'll ever get 50 words a minute with that thing.
Did I mention that it was free? That's why I <3 it the most. That's the only reason why I got one too.

i still live at home...

What's changed since I was a kid? I moved out years ago, to go to college in Indiana. Then I joined the Army and lived in Texas for a few years. I lived in Ohio for a year after I got out of the Army. Now I'm living in Indiana. Since that time, my parents moved from Hawaii to Ohio. My mom's died. So why do I have to think about the phrase, "I live at home." Is it the connotation? Sure, I pay rent on my apartment. The gas, electricity and other utilities are in my name, but do I live there? Home is where the hearth is... wait, that's not right; my dad's place doesn't have a hearth. Oh, heart. Yeah, I don't know where that place is either, maybe that's why I don't feel comfortable saying that I live at home. So does that make me homeless?

Sunday, August 20, 2006

should be a faded memory...

It's not the love lost or the one that got away that gnaws at you over the years. It's the one that you gave up on, because you were too tired to fight for every little scrap of affection. I do honestly believe that I love her, but she was so closed off to others that it was a fight to be with her. I could see what a great she could have been if only she smiled, or showed an emotion. She was afraid of being herself.
I actually felt safe around her, which is a feeling I haven't felt in a long time. Well, maybe safe is the wrong word. Maybe content? Like I could die happy, no worries, that sort of thing. The world around me melted away and I didn't care what else happened. I don't get that feeling anymore and I miss that; could be I don't really miss her but just that feeling.
I shouldn't live in the past, the past has no future. All of this should just be a faded memory but it'll never be unless I let it go.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

heinz 57 and french-fried potatoes

M-O-J-I-T-O. It's not a gay drink. I was curious!

Went to Cheeseburgers in Paradise, it's kinda like that Jimmy Buffet song umm... yeah. I had the Pineapple Mojito, which was very nice. Powerful, but good. For dinner I had, you guessed it, a cheeseburger with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57 and french-fried potatoes. And it was reasonably priced, I think my whole dinner was less than $15 which was just slightly cheaper than my dinner the night before at TGI-Friday's.

Then I watched Mean Girls. Lacey Chabert. *drool* Rachel McAdams. *Drool* Liz Caplan *DROOL* Tina Fey. *DROOL!* And yes, I'll admit, I bought it for the eye candy. I can't help it, the casting directors and marketing people do a really good job.

"Well, I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense. It's like I have ESPN or something."

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

hell in a handbasket.

So I've been reading the news. Kids are getting money for good grades. I guess things have changed since I was in school. The fear of physical trama was my "motivation" for good grades. And I'm dense, I only graduated high school with a 3.03 GPA which I achieved 2nd semester senior year.

Then there's this little tidbit.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060814/us_nm/life_charm_dc

Men that can't get a date cuz they're too shy. The article basically describes me as the typical "non-aggressive" man, but that can't be! I don't know if that's all true, but I do know I don't need to pay $1600 for a three-day crash course in making a move. I've got moves, yeah, I GOT MOVES! The one thing, in the related articles I read, I walked away with was that people aren't 'entitled' to happiness; you have to work for it just like everything in your life. I'd believe this but for the fact that there are a lot of people (especially around where I live) that are given a lot of things because their families have money. So what about them? I guess they're 'entitled' to happiness because they never had to work for anything in their life. So it's true that chicks are attracted to the size of a man's bank account.

Monday, August 14, 2006

southpaw 4 life!

Huh. Apparently today is Left-handers Day. Did not know that. Well, I celebrated today by depositing my paycheck. It is in honor of research done saying that left-handed people get paid more than their right-handed counterpart. Of course I'm sure I'm the exception as always.
http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/28075/a-hand-for-the-lefties
There's lots of famous left-handed people nowadays, well probably no more so than yesteryears but probably more publicized.
I remember when I was a kid, my mom used to hit me upside the head when I used my left hand to eat with or when I was handed something I used to reach for it with my left hand. Yeah... that didn't work out so well, I'm still left handed. What can I say? I'm pretty dense, apparently physical trama doesn't work on me. I can't believe that people believed that lefties were bad omens or somehow related to Satanism. Well, actually, in my case I can.
Hail Left-Handers!

opinionated anger

Disclaimer: The following opinions do not reflect the opinion of the US Army or the government.

With that said, I'd like to start. I don't believe the conspiracy theorists, but I'm not as naive the rest of the US. I don't agree with whoever actually planned and ordered the attacks five years ago on the World Trade Center. Their actions, however heinous, were not without cause or justification. I do believe that 9/11 was a bit much, but after what the US has done to the world I can't say that I wasn't excepting no sort of retaliation.

It's easy for me to see their point of view. Let's get historical for a second. During the 1970's the Cold War was still going on, the US and Soviet Union were fighting a political battle than spanned continents and involved millions of people. When the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan, the US supplied the Afghans with weapons, supplies, and training. All of this was done relatively cheaply, because not to belittle the Afghans but their money was worthless. Yet we provided thousands of rifles, food, and Special Forces operators spent years training the Afghans in the finer points of guerilla warfare. All this was given with the promise of (basically) fight off the Soviets and we'll help you build your nation into a powerful one. Yet here we are, it's 30-something years later and the population is still dirt poor. What happened? The same thing that always happens, a new government took power and decided that these promises were too costly for us to keep. Nobody told the Afghanis this, no one even told the operators this and they departed with the mindset that they'll be back.

Still not seeing how they could be angry about it? OK, here's an analogy I use.

Have you ever gotten angry at a customer service person? For whatever reason? Like you called the store to see if they have someone you need, they say yes and you drive down to get it and it's not there? You even talked to the same person you did on the phone. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE IT ANYMORE? I JUST CALLED 10 MINUTES AGO AND YOU SAID YOU HAD IT! Can you imagine yourself saying that? It's their fault right? Not the store's fault, or someone else that works there, but that one person that you talked to. Right? Wrong. Like the bumper sticker says, "Shit Happens." There's a million different plausible reasons why it's gone, but only one reason why it would be that person's fault.
Or how about when you go back to return something and the sales clerk needs to call over a manager to just complete the transaction? I mean, how difficult is it to open the register, reach in and grab $25.92? Does it really take a manager to do this? No, not really, but that's the way it's going now isn't it? Did you know that executive board of the store is implementing a new policy to track the returns of each store for each product? NO? Well, that lowly sales clerk probably didn't either. And the register doesn't know either, the stupid computer just knows that you need a certain validation code to complete the return. And now you're yelling at the clerk, "JUST OPEN THE STUPID DRAWER AND PULL MY MONEY OUT!" Hey, it's not the clerk's fault but that's where you angry lies.
Of course in these scenarios you're only angry for a few minutes, maybe a day at the most; certainly not 30 years from now. And even if you were, I'd say it would be a little much if you went into the clerk's house in a few years and killed off their entire family and the neighbors (just for good measure) for making you want for your money or store credit.
Again, I'm not belittling the situation in Afghanistan. The promise we made was huge, and we didn't even help them out a little when it came to that promise. Sure we gave them guns, but that won't feed a family, or heal a sick child. That's what they need, not more guns. It would've helped years ago, but now it's the only way they know how to live. That gun can help you get food for your family, if you kill a farmer and take all of his stuff. Or medicine when you shoot your way in to a hospital.
So before you get angry at someone, ask yourself if it really is their fault. If it is, let'em have it! If not, step back, take a deep breath and calm down. Otherwise, in a few years you could find yourself outside of his/her house waiting to kill them just because you got a little mad over something stupid.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

several hours of enjoyment

Being a Trekkie I've seen all of the series, from the original with Kirk and Spock to Archer and T'Pol and everything in between. Plus all ten of the movies. Somewhere I have the movies on VHS at my dad's place, I own the Next Generation movies on DVD here. I finally purchased Star Trek: Nemesis, the special edition with the bonus dvd. There's more to any film than just the storyline. Yet nothing can really compare to the Star Trek franchise; not even Star Wars. Nemesis was written by John Logan (RKO 281, Gladiator, The Aviator), who at his core is a Trekkie and a screenwriter. This is like having me write a Star Trek movie, because he is familiar with the characters, the underlying themes, and the dialogue. Granted I probably couldn't do it in real life, but in my pretend life I could!
Yes, I like to pretend to be a screenwriter when I watch movies. The ability to deconstruct a scene and point out details is a strong suit. My secret is hours and hours spent on the bonus dvd, watching the behind-the-scenes or production sections. Also, I spend a few hours a day on imdb.com, the Internet Movie Database where others like myself come together to discuss films, point out errors and just general envy of the people we watch on our TVs. If I could get paid to do this, why, this would be my very own "Big" movie. Except for really being a 13 year-old boy, cuz it was just an awkward time.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

kid fun; fear me

Yesterday I got into work at 2:40pm. This you already know. I left promptly at 5pm, hey it's a 9-5 job still, just because I show up almost 6-hours late doesn't mean I stay late. After work my friend tells me that he's purchased a 55-in screen plasma TV and needs help setting it up. Of course if you've got a big TV, you need a sound system to match and therefore also purchased a Bose surround sound. Now the problem is that his current TV stand isn't big enough (or tall enough) to support a 55-in TV. We spend most of the night shopping around for a TV stand at every place from Costco to Lowe. Finally, we just use the buffet table in the dining room and it works out nicely.
All that wasn't even the story I was thinking about originally, it's a good story but I needed to fill you in on the real kid fun. While we're shopping around for the TV stand, I check out all of the toy sections. Recently I've been having these juvenille fits. My parents used to buy me something to get me to shut up, but sadly I am an adult. Which just means I have to buy them myself. At first I thought I wanted some Legos, but damn, either the prices have gone up or my parents were filthy rich when I was a kid cuz all that was expensive! I ended up leaving with a Nerf dart gun, 6-barrel, side loaded, pump-action, air pressured gun. So what's cooler than a dart gun? How about a dart gun with a laser sight? That's right! I'm the first kid on my block with a Nerf dart gun with laser sighting. Unfortunately, the laser was designed for something more substantial than Nerf and the accuracy is about 1 meter. Still this is newsworthy, and proud of because I spent an additional hour last night sighting the laser to my Nerf gun.
Fear me.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

perks.

The perks of the business...

Yesterday, being a Tuesday, would not be the ideal day to stay out late drinking, carousing, playing poker, and general alcoholic amusings. Nor is it usually acceptable to come in to work at 2:40pm. And when I got in, I plugged in my laptop and checked my personal email account, checked out my myspace, got tired and went out for a cigarette break. I also logged on to here to start this blog. Usually this would get a person fired, but not me. It's one of the perks of this business, yeah the pay might suck but you really can't beat the fact that I'm dressed in jeans and running shoes in this business casual environment.
I did get a lot accomplished Tuesday so that there wasn't much for me to do today, and what I needed to get done today took very little time.
OK, time to get back to pretending to work!

Monday, August 07, 2006

Oh Jesus!


He died for our sins, and now he's back with moveable arms! You'd think that this child-safe toy would be more popular but that's the capitalistic market for you.
I found this little bit of heaven in Yellowstone, Ohio. I wouldn't say that it's a hippie town, but it is very down to earth.
Why was I in Yellowstone? Well, I was visiting my family in nearby Springfield and in Yellowstone is a great little restaurant called "The Winds" (more proof of the down-to-earthiness) where my cousin Joey works as a chef. Yes, there is culinary skill in my family, two in fact. Anyway, there was a huge party for Joey and his now fiancee Hannah. It was a sort of house warming party. More mandatory fun time with the family. Plus, I really wanted to show off this picture of the Jesus Action Figure.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

big

ok. i'm watching "big" on AMC. now usually i don't watch movies on cable because of the editing and all that. i like the movie alot, there's just something about it really that's hard to explain. i mean, most of our childhood was about waiting to grow up, getting out from under our parents' roof. and yet, we're not happy when we finally do. don't get me wrong, college was great but when you have to start worrying about bills, deadlines, and all the crap you have to think about as adults. what was so great about being grown up? sure i don't have a bedtime, no one's telling me to eat my vegetables, or nagging me about my homework but now i'm worried about making the money last to the end of the month, gas in the car, and work.
i'd like to have a job where i could play with toys all day, get paid lots and lots of money to do it. of course i wouldn't want to be as naive as tom hanks in the movie, but hey there's got to be some drawbacks. i can't be like that all the time at work.
huh, i think i understand why i like pinky and the brain, old cartoons i used to watch as a kid, and shows like "I Love the 80's" and the 90's. it reminds me of being a kid. maybe that's why i laugh at pinky and the brain, cuz i laughed at it when i was younger.
i wish i was big.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

narf!

I had put off purchasing the Pinky & The Brain dvd, but I couldn't resist any longer. Digging through the couch for loose change, I came up with enough money to put my plan of world domination into action. I'm not exactly sure why I still laugh, but I am enjoying my dvd.
POIT!
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Friday, August 04, 2006

the young and the witless

When I walk around in my BDUs, people often come up to me and shake my hand, to say thanks for serving, or even offer meals/drinks. That's all fine. I don't even mind answering questions from little kids, in fact, I like that part the most. Kids have some crazy questions.
What I don't like is when these yuppies ask me why am I defending this country, or why I liked being over in Iraq. Believe it or not, those are big questions with tiny answers. I can only answer for myself as to why I joined; it was for the steady paycheck after college, a job, a direction, because college didn't really answer any of life questions.
Then war came up and in 2003 I found myself in Iraq. My motivation there wasn't to defend the US, the Constitution, capitalism, or anything else in the commercials. It was about my family, but not my mom and dad, brothers or sisters, cousins and the like. Family, my platoon sergeant, my squad members, my first sergeant; they were my family. The guy that was standing next to you, even if you've never met him before today, he was family.
Family was my motivation to jump IN to a burning vehicle to throw off ammo to prevent secondary explosions. Family motivated me to carry my wounded buddies behind a berm for additional protection. Family kept me going for two and a half hours, providing security and working on the wounded. My only thought was to protect my family.
Yeah, that was three years ago.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Maria came from Nashville with a suitcase in her hand...

Counting Crows "Round Here"
If you can't tell I've been watching the World Series of Pop Culture on VH1. And getting my ass kicked by the folks on TV. These are categories I SHOULD know the answers to, but I don't. I guess I should be watching more TV and movies. I thought I did, but apparently not enough. I should know these! I'm getting maybe 40% of these questions, whereas I need at least 51%, kinda like quorum. TV, movie, music trivia is my speciality. If I could've majored in it in college I would have. Argh! What is wrong with me?
I'll admit that in my old age I am paying less attention to the details in the show unless they are brought up on imdb.com, but still this is not an excuse. I should know better! I will train, focus on the goal, and watch lots of TV. I know it sounds hard but I'm determined. I will be the next Rocky of pop culture.
Nah, sounds too hard.

Fate is Hollow.

It's raining.
What the hell? For the last week it has been 90+ and in the last two weeks there hasn't been a drop of rain. So yesterday I gave Stacy a nice washing, trying to get into every nook and cranny and I think I did a pretty good job. And without fail, it starts to rain.
Actually, it happened the last time I washed my car about a month ago too. There's just something that doesn't want Stacy to be clean.
At least the heat wave has broken. Thank-you Stacy! And Fate.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

near hit proves stereotype

If you don't know, Carmel, Indiana loves their roundabouts. I love'em too, cuz I like to push the edge in my trusty CRX "Stacy." Now recently I got Stacy some new tires, courtesy of my friend who works at a Discount Tires. I should mention the fact that Stacy is a man's car, yes I'm being sexist. She's a 5-speed manual, no power steering, or power windows. When the car starts to heat up, the gears won't shift properly, there is a sunroof but the tracks are broken so you can't fully open it, and to top it all off, the little retractable antenna has to be manually operated. Yet, I love her to death (probably cuz I'll die a fiery death inside of her).
Since I've gotten new tires, I've been more willing to pull some G's on turns. Like my apartment complex offers a half-G turn which I exploit every time I come home from work. OK, back to my story. This city is full of roundabouts, all different configurations too. Some are two lanes, some are single lanes, some with only three roads connected, so on and so forth. This particular one was a two-lane roundabout, which I thought "Wouldn't it be sweet if I could drift it!?!" So I hit the roundabout at approximately 30MPH, made the turn, hit the gas, over-corrected for the return, hit the other side of the roundabout... and then here's where I lost it. Since Stacy doesn't have power steering, manuevering is made more difficult. When I over-corrected to drift to the other side, I didn't think much beyond that so to prevent an accident I let go of the steering wheel completely to straighten out. Of course that's too much when you're drifting so I had quickly grab the wheel and try to correct myself again. Of course I was still on the gas, which is a bad thing when you're about to go out-of-control! I barely miss the curb (which would've hurt Stacy) and now I'm drifting the other way. Granted it's a two lane roundabout and I'm in a CRX but still not very safe going sideways down a road.
Luckily, Stacy loves me and she helped me out. No accidents, but my friend was behind me watching it. Our journey ended at my other friend's house and we washed our cars. Stacy looks better now, it's going to take me a few $$$ to get Stacy back to supermodel form.
Although I don't know if I want her to be a supermodel, cuz she'd probably just dump me too.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

listen, i've been thinking

How do the movie executives live with themselves? Crap like Wild Things 3 or Bring It On 3 a.k.a. Bring It On: All or Nothing.
"Nothing please."
I understand the concept of the sequel. Either to continue a great storyline, or to make more money. Usually its the latter, money motivates a lot I guess. Still, when the sequel fails to make money, what are the chances that another installment is going to be a cash cow? I've been wracking my brain all day trying to come up with one example of between the second sequel of a movie was a hit when the first sequel was such crap. I'll let you know if I think of one.

funnies



You all know my humor is on the eccentric-side of normal, I don't make excuses and in fact, if you talk with my dad or knew my mom then you'd understand how I have the sense of humor I have today. Usually, a kid is blend of the parents but in my case, if you added up my parents' humors you'd get me. This is true in most of the qualities I possess.
I don't have anything against the mentally handicapped, it's not their fault they're retarded but that's not going to keep me from laughing. Now I won't just see a retard and laugh at him in the middle of the street, but if he/she were to do something stupid, I'd laugh at them. In fact, I'd laugh at anyone that did something stupid (which didn't affect me). If something's funny I'll laugh or smile.
The first sign is obviously just a mix, granted the top sign always gets a smile out of me "Slow Children Playing" but the addition of "Hunting With Shotgun Only" actually made me laugh. I guess it's only fair to hunt 'tards with only a shotgun.
The second picture makes me wonder if somewhere in the town's law books there's a law against being retarded. What actually prompted the purchase of this sign? Usually laws are made out of necessity, so I wonder if there was a rampant problem with 'tards in the borough. Or maybe 'tards get violent in the borough and The Man had to put them down. I don't know, but Retards Prohibited says it all.
Some day, I'm going to order one of these signs for my place. I just have to learn what borough means.