Monday, April 30, 2007

sailor suit

Legos can kill. Well, besides choking on them I guess. Yesh, I guess that's one way to go.

Porn saves species. Porn = good. Hahaha. Well, I don't know if it counts as porn or an educational video. Still, it sells better doesn't it? Saying porn, instead of maybe sex ed?

And the 80yo guy picks Jennifer Aniston. Good choice there.

DWB, driving while black. Huh. Yeah, it's racial profiling. So what? Oh, minorities are also more likely to be searched and arrested too? *gasp* More arrests? What the hell does being arrested have to do with racial profiling? Well... yeah, but still you have to do something to be arrested. Like driving while black.

And just for a good measure of stupidity




Friday, April 27, 2007

three little pigs

Man, do I find capitalism funny. Everyone wants to make money. Big corporations will outsource jobs to India, or Mexico in order to "cut costs" and thereby eliminate jobs in the US, then turn around a sell it to Americans. The only problem is that people without jobs usually don't have the money to buy these cheaply-made products at outrageous prices. Huh, I can't figure it out. And I understand big business too, who really wants to pay a guy $25/hour to basically watch a computerize system do his actual job? Oh, and if he works more than 8 hours a day it shoots up to $40/hour, rounding up to the nearest half-hour.
Here's big business trying to squeeze just a little more money out of people. Renting music? Really? That's funny, like I'm going to pay every month to listen to music that I could go out and buy one-time. Music is a one-time purchase. Oh, unless this is some sort of clever ploy to get people to buy CDs again.

I wonder if there's a nifty little guide for making teens and adults stop whining. Oh yeah, just a quick 1-2 combo, knocks them out every time. This method also works on kids too.

50 Bullshit Jobs and what you can do to have them! And if you have troubles with getting your resume together for any of these jobs, just use some of these great tips.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

life's little mysteries

I support euthanasia. I really do. I think it's more selfless than selfish. And before you criticize, yes, I have it in my living. I'd rather be dead than completely paralyzed unable to do anything except take up space and drain resources. So when I read about Baby Emilio it really makes me wonder. OK, I've never had a kid but there are people in this world that I love very much. If they were suffering from something that there was no cure from, even if it meant that I'd be able to spend more time with them, I would pull the plug. It's not fair to them, I'm not that selfish.
So the mother is fighting to keep the baby on the ventilator allowing him to "die naturally, the way God intended." Well I have to ask, what's natural about a ventilator? If you ask me, God intended Emilio to die almost immediately after birth. No, just come out and say it, you want more time with him. There's no shame in it, you're a selfish, cold-hearted bitch but at least you're honest.

Hehe. Music teachers rock. See? Creativity, mixing in different subjects to enhance the learning project. Yeah, it does sound annoying, but it's cool. I might have learned from her. The only problem is that she'll spend a year out of the classroom to be a teacher advocate.

Yaks save lives. I'm surprised PETA didn't get all pissed off. Sorry, I watched South Park last night. The episode was Douchebag versus Turd Sandwich. Funny episode with the explanation of the "Vote or Die" slogan.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

ooby dooby

Huh. Apparently I've just been doing it all wrong. Not manly enough I guess. And yes, I've been taking notes on specific subjects. Some good stuff there. I'm more for manly action than looking pretty. Yeah, while you are busy looking good I'm getting out of the car that's ready to go over a cliff. And nothing says 'manly' like some good spam musubi. Yum.





Pretty cool huh?

don't fear the reaper

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Yeah, I get the distinct feeling that the government just doesn't like that family. If that happened to me I'd be pissed off too. Find me a local office, march in and shout "I'm not dead!" I really wonder how this all happened.

Ah, the fallout of Green Planet = Brown hand. Got to love this country we live in.

I hate threats written by cheerleaders. Now, I'm not saying that all cheerleaders are dumb, but I'm saying whoever wrote those threats wasn't burdened with an overabundance of schooling. Hmm. "Respect us..." and covering more of the modestly dressed cheerleaders. Well, sorry that you dress like a skank and don't get as much coverage. Um, here's some advice, save the skanky outfit for your night job and don't let the pole rub you the wrong way.


Here's something about my long standing hatred of the Air Force. Now before I go in too deep, my dad was Air Force, so it really just irks me.
The Air Force is complaining about what again? People getting assigned jobs they weren't trained for? Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I trained as a 96H; it's a high-tech intelligence job, linking all sorts of cool stuff like satellites, planes, and tanks, to provide the big picture to the battlefield commander. You know what I did in Iraq for a year? Convoy escort duty, PSG, and other jobs I wasn't trained for.
Other things that piss me off about the Air Force? OK, I only have this one example but we had a squadron (not of planes) of airmen assigned to Fort Hood. They were the Squall teams, basically weathermen. That's fine, because the Air Force has huge demands for people that can tell the current weather, that sort of stuff is essential for planes I get it, I honestly do. What gets me is those airmen assigned to Fort Hood get hardship duty pay, an additional $155 a month. Why? Oh, I'll tell you why. Ft. Hood is below the Air Force standard of living. Yup, not good enough for the AF. Funny thing too, none of them live on post.
One of my 2nd cousins is in the Air Force now. The shit he complains about just pisses me off. For example, he's on his third deployment to Iraq. Now before you ask what I have to complain about let me say this. AF deployments are 3 months long!!!! 3 months! He's on his 3rd, 3-month deployment. So by the end he'll have a total of 9 months deployed. Let's not forget that his first "deployment" was not to Iraq but one of the neighboring countries.
So what's the big f**king deal? I swear, one of these days I'm just going to kick all of their asses. Still, what started this was the article, and I can't believe that Chief of Staff would even say anything like that. Mosley - "Somebody is going to have to pay us back" WHAT?

OK, sucking it up and driving on. Whew.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

i will remember you

BWD: Blackberrying While Driving. Huh. Didn't think it got that specific. OK, it really doesn't but it's basically cellphone usage while driving. Yes, people should use common sense, too bad not that many people have it. The funniest thing about this was not the report itself, but the ad attached before the report. Can you guess what it was (for me)? Yup, an ad for Blackberry. Doh!

*gasp* No! People executed under the law...suffer? Wait, wait, wait. Nope. Nothing. Can't seem to care about that. What concerns me is that other people care about it. WTF? Seriously?

I'm not one to stiffle anyone's freedom of speech. Hey, more power to you! Yes, the classroom is a place of learning, thinking and discussion. This guy is just a moron. "Oh, the school fired you for the Virginia Tech re-enactment!" No dumbass, they fired you because you're not doing your job. What the hell does gun-control or gun-violence brought on by mental illness have to do with your class, FINANCIAL ACCOUNTING???? No, no, no. Connect the dots for me would you? I'm a college dropout, I'm not smart enough to do it. Yeah, it's a current event and probably will be on students minds for a long time (a few years, maybe 4?) but do you really think your FINANCIAL ACCOUNTING class is the right forum to push your own agenda? OK, it's your class, do what you want. It's their school, they'll fire you for not doing your job if they want.






I love these space pictures.

Monday, April 23, 2007

wow!

Maybe it's because it's from the South, but damn those white people sounded stupid.

Talk about being pathfinders and trend setters. You think this idea will catch on? Integrated proms? Whew. I like one of the former student's comments, "We've always had segregated proms. It's no big deal. It's nothing racial." Whoa, whoa, whoa. Maybe you should've paid more attention in class, when you seperate people by race it is RACIAL. I wonder which prom the Asians and Hispanics go to. Hmm, I'd say they go "colored" prom.
*shake head* Seriously.

hearts on fire

There's absolutely nothing I like about sex offenders, well, except for maybe practical target practice. Make them run around downrange and let soldiers train to aim for actual human form silhouettes. Other than that, I say kill'em all. If the girls are lying though, they aimed pretty good and got really lucky that the guy they tried to steal from was a sex offender.

I'm mystified too. It's like the holocaust of bees! Hmm, what's the natural predator of the bee? Bears? Cuz I know they like honey, I saw it in a TV show when I was younger.

A pro-gun story. Nuff said.

Really? That must've been one heck of a punch to do that much damage. Well, at least it wasn't a hate crime. Be grateful for small miracles. Of course the most amusing thing about the whole article is the trial attorney, Morris Dees. Have you seen Dees? Dees what? These nuts! Sorry, the good ol' Army days.

Friday, April 20, 2007

let me take you there

OK, because I've been discussing the benefits of talking versus violence with Christy I've been in this state of mind. I don't like the words he used, but I do agree with his point. Military force alone isn't going to solve the problem in Iraq. However, the lack of military force isn't an option either. If you want to send economic/political/social help in the form of workers there they need protection. Protection? Yup, for the same reason that the pope-mobile is bulletproof. Imagine trying to send thousands of workers to California but the nearest support base was Florida. The shear logistics of it is mind-boggling. I guess Reid was right when he said that "no soldier can get it done."

So, wait. WHAT? Yahoo is getting sued for what? Grr. Yahoo was doing what they thought was right, freedom of information request made by a recognized government. Can Yahoo be held accountable for what is done with that information? I don't think so. That's just holding Beretta and whatever bullet manufacturer accountable for the shooting at Virginia Tech. I say those activists should go protest in China instead of the relative "safety" of the US. What? You can't withstand the same environment of those you claim to "help"?

Shetty news.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

it hurt so bad

As predicted, going from zero to 7 miles a day hurts. It still hurts two days later. Of course it doesn't hurt as bad as it did yesterday but still! I must be out of shape. I'm happy to report that I've lost 15lbs (in 2 months, I'm not anorexic), what scares me is that I don't know where I put it and I'm afraid it'll come back at the worse possible time. I'm going to go try to run this weekend but I'm not promising anything. Weather is supposed to be decent so I might get some car maintenance out of the way. There's been some user abuse since the car's last checkup. The tires also need to get rotated and regripped. Plus with the impending deployment I have to find a storage place nearby. I should probably get an Indiana driver's license too, get the car registered in Indiana too. There's so much to do...
I wonder how much more (weight) I can lose on this poor man's diet. Hmm, I guess I'm proof of my own diet strategy. Decrease intake and increase output and the pounds just fall off. So now that I've found a happy input level and increase my output I can start to lose some serious weight.

You've got to love the 50's and their wacky PSAs. Apparently older boys are just a menace to everyone.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

cause and effect

When my unit was put on alert to prepare to deploy (sounds like a lot of ifs) people asked me why I wanted to go. By people I mean friends and family; strangers don’t ask me that question so much. I’m fighting tooth and nail to go, but my unit won’t deploy me (as of yet). My friends and family don’t understand why. It’s hard to explain, especially for those that have never served in a branch of the armed services. Plus, it’s partly me which can't be explained.
I grew up around the military, the Air Force specifically. So while the first fifteen years or so I wasn’t in the military it did affect me. My dad was gone for big portions of my life, my mom was consumed with being a good military wife; supportive and understanding. In high school I was bitter at the military because I realized that it had taken so much away from me (I won’t go into details) and it set me apart from those I called my friends.
DePauw University is a very liberal college, hippie comes to mind when I try to think of adjectives that describe the feel of the college. There’s no ROTC, hippies burned down the building back in the 70’s. For most of my college friends this was the first time away from home (for an extended period of time). They missed their old friends and their family. I was different, I loved my parents but I didn’t miss them. I didn’t even call them unless it was to ask for money. They knew I loved them, nothing more was needed.
I gradually realized that I was very different than those around me because of what the military had given me. Strength. The strength to love my family but not miss them. The strength to make new best friends on a whim and leave to never see them again. The strength to know that there’s always more beneath the eye on events around the world. Then I accepted the fact that I like who I am today, that it was in most part because of the military.
So I dropped out of college and joined the Army. My grandfather had been in the Army, served as a medic in the Pacific theater during a little war known in the history books as World War II. My father had served in the Air Force for 27 years until his retirement in 1994; his first year was in a place called Vietnam. He was in the intel field, I never learned what he did (I don’t have the clearance or ‘need to know’), so I decided to go into Army Intelligence. Sort of an homage to both of them.
I’ve only known one person that joined the Army to serve his country. He’s a good guy too; he got a lot of respect for his decision. For the most part, the military is made up of guys (and girls) that are looking for a better life for themselves and their families. It gives them training, a job, a steady paycheck, and money for college. You can do a lot with that kind of opportunity. Some just need to get out of their small towns, not working at Wal-Mart with all of their high school friends, drinking beers out in the cornfields on the weekends. Others just have no place else to go.
Whatever the reasons, they all come to one place (their unit, so really its many places). Yes, we go because we’re ordered to, but that comes with the job. You have to be stupid to think that the Army won’t deploy. That’s like taking a job as a stock boy and then act surprised when your boss tells you to stock the shelves. “But, but I’m just here for the money.” Well, now you’re going to earn it. Still, what makes us go isn’t just orders. You can defer for many reasons, anyone can get out for any number of excuses. We overcome them because there’s an underlying bond between those you serve with.
I’m not close to my family. Yes, I’d be there for any one of my cousins at the drop of a hat. I’d get their back in a fight. I’d run through fire for them, but I’m not close to them. I can say the same thing for those that I serve with. They too are my family. The difference is that when I’m with my Army family, I don’t feel like I have to pretend to be someone else. I am who I am, no censor, I don’t have to worry about what I say or how I say it, they make jokes at my expense like I make jokes at theirs. When I’m around family I have to choose my words carefully. I think it still sounds like me, but I know that it isn’t me. I’m good at soldiering; it’s probably the only thing I am good at (as a job skill).
I want to deploy with my unit. I think I’m good for them, I have experience and knowledge that can’t be taught in a classroom. Plus, I’m selfish. I don’t want to be stuck here worried about them and then wonder if I could have done something if I was there. Or worse, that it should’ve been me. Yeah, it’s future survivor’s guilt. It was hard for me to sit at home when 4th Infantry Division deployed again in 2005, and I only knew a few of them. Now it’ll be a lot harder because I know most of the people in my unit. What would you do for your friends and family? I’d deploy for them.

shifting gears

Ah, another space race. America won this one, of course there was no one running against here up there but I count it as a victory.

See everyone making more money than you. Well, that's not fair, they're huge multi-billion dollar corporations and don't have to pay taxes. Speaking of which, did you mail in your taxes?

I really think it's obvious why kids with head injuries are repeat offenders. I'm a repeat head injury offender. At 26 I'm sure I rack up at least one a year, I've got the scars to prove it too.

Just waiting for more information on the Virginia Tech shooting. Yes, it was an Asian male. No, it wasn't a massacre.

Well, on a personal note I walked 3.2 miles this morning. To work, so I'm forced to walk 3.2 miles home after work. I took me just under an hour to do so, I had to negotiate with some traffic which added to my time but I don't think that's so bad considering that I've probably walked a mile (total) in the last month before today. Anticipating it to really start hurting tomorrow morning. Muahahahahahaha. Pain, in my leg. Pain, in my back. Ha!

Monday, April 16, 2007

the joker

Since mid-March I've been getting ready to deployment. The basics, getting my bills in order, buying personal items and equipment I want/need, and settling my affairs (whatever we mean when we say affairs). I've spent time writing post-mortum letters to family and friends, in case of something. In doing so I've come realize that it's really morbid to try to write those. I'm still in the drafting phase. The funny part of this whole thing is that they didn't tell us much (they can't, legally speaking) except that we should prepare to get ready to deploy. ??? - That's what I thought, but they'd tell us at the next drill date.
So I'm guessing you're wondering what happened this weekend at drill right? Well, I get there and find the tentative list to deploy. Scan, scan, scan... scan some more, re-scan the whole thing. Huh, my name's not on it. And after all this time I've been getting ready?
Yes, some of my friends and family is happy that I'm not going. Problem: I'm not happy. I'm not happy. I can't explain why, I just know that I'm, but I'm not miserable either. Caught between the two I guess.
Maybe I'm sort of war-junkie and that I need the thrill of combat to justify my life and give me meaning. I don't know, I don't think I can make an objective observation. I will, however, tell you what I do know about myself. My job doesn't hold my interest (evident by my hours of blogging at work), the only reason I stay is because it pays the bills. My life pretty much sucks because I only make enough to pay the bills. My friends that live nearby are moving up and on with their lives, leaving me exactly where I was when I met them. I feel like I'm too old to make new friends (sort of like Randall in Clerks II).
Reasons to deploy - Over the last eighteen months I have gotten to know my unit, the people in it. I know what to expect from them and they know what to expect from me. Yes, they're my friends but much more than that too. The last couple of months my section has gotten more soldiers, brand-new, fresh, young faces. I've been assigned to mentor them, teach them how to survive, what the Army is all about, and hopefully, live long enough to enjoy a long and fruitful life. That's what makes me happy. To come in one weekend every month and have a dozen or so soldiers to mentor. Most of the veterans stick to their own groups, but we've been integrating them into our groups. I float around abit. I spent two weeks training with the MPs, I spent the first six months in the supply section helping them getting squared away. I am a fully capable intel analyst with field and combat experience doing my job and several others. NCOs respect the fact that I know what I'm doing and that I'm not just a dumb private with a bad attitude. I'm motivated, dedicated, and apparently not going. Plus, there's the fact that I can re-enlist out there for six years and a $20,000 bonus (tax free).
How exactly can I train soldiers for combat when I won't even go with them? They know it's not my fault, but I can't stand it. There's still so much more that I can teach because there's only so much you can learn from stories.
The Army, in its infinite wisdom has deemed me unworthy to go. There are other soldiers that are not going and some of them have good reasons but some refuse to extend their contracts (6x2, 6 years on active reserve, 2 years on inactive reserve) even though they have the time on their contract anyway. I'm at the end of my contract, 300 days out (you need 400 days from the day of deployment) and I still want to go.

Friday, April 13, 2007

you're my soul and inspiration

Earlier this week I was doing some spring cleaning because it's spring. That and getting my Army stuff organized instead of a big pile of crap in the hallway closet. As I was cleaning I stumbled across the instructions for my inflatable bed. Well, I'm a guy, I don't read directions this stuff has been hardwired into my genetic code. Still, I took a break (I'd been working for like 5 minutes straight at this point!) and I read this helpful guide. Now the thing with inflatable mattresses is that you can't fill them to the brim with air, if you do you're cruisin' for a bruisin' and it'll burst on you. The directions tried to sound professional and technical, so instead of a warning saying do not inflat to maximum it said, "Inflat to 20% of desired firmness." I wonder how they came to that number. I wonder what person thinks of this. That whole thing stinks. 20% less is not my desired firmness. If my desire was to go to DisneyWorld and instead I go to Six Flags I haven't fulfilled my desires.

Haha. I thought for a second that this article was about the Army Reserves or National Guard. More commonly referred to as "weekend warriors" by the active component.

Mmm, tastes like chicken.

Forgive me for prying, but cry me a river. You took a helicopter from Manhattan? Oh boo hoo. Rich people having to spend money. Poor rich people! I'm glad he got double-billed for it too for being such a whiner.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

ride of the valkyries

Now I wish I was on active duty. I find it funny that at the end of the article that Speaker Nancy Pelosi is urging President Bush to "sit down with us to find a solution to bring this war to an end." Hmm, well there's only 2 outcomes in war. One is victory. The other is defeat. Now I have to wonder exactly how much experience in military campaigns those Democrats have. I'm not saying that Republicans are any better but wars are led by generals, many of them with thirty-years plus of experience. And some snot-nosed Ivy league brat that's never picked up a gun, stepped foot on a military base, or even spent a year in Iraq is going to tell me how to win a war from thousands of miles away? I'm sorry if I don't jump on that wagon right away.

What about, "Oops!" Yeah, I've watched enough medical dramas in my life (ER, Grey's Anatomy, Scrubs, House) to know you never start a sentence to a patient with "I'm sorry." Makes for good drama as well as malpractice suits. My thing is yes, I have certain expectations of someone that's gone to eight years of college, spends so many years doing hands-on learning, and so on. Still I can say this confidently, I don't think I could do a better job in most cases.

I am mentioning this article because I actually had to go and look up the word egalitarian. So the point of the experiment was to create balance? Taking from the rich and giving to the poor just makes sense, that doesn't prove that people have the "Robin Hood impulse" does it? It's the easiest and surest way to achieve the goals of the experiment. I dunno.

Migrant wedding dresses.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

sealed with a kiss

This report contains graphic content. Viewer discretion is advised. Sticks and stones may break my bones but if you call me a name I may have to sue you for emotional distress. I found this gut-busting hilarious. It is aptly named, descriptive of a color. Well, if Indian Red is bad I suppose Nigger Brown is too huh? Asian Yellow? Oppressive White? My question is, how do you buy a couch and not know the color? Isn't it right there? Make, Model, Color, etc. huh? I suppose now they'll just change the tag to African-American Brown.

Since when did kids have rights? Ah, yes, when stopped spanking them because it was "cruel and unusual" punishment. The funny part was the kid was complaining about the school's body piercing policy. Now, I've been to Greencastle (DePauw is there) and let me tell you, it's comparable to East L.A. in terms of social disorder. Compton, Detroit, they've got nothing on Greencastle. There's more road-side bombs there than all of Iraq, you gotta be tough to survive in Greencastle. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit but why exactly does Greencastle Middle School have a body piercing policy? Just call it the decency policy. Throw in all the skanky outfits, wifebeater shirts, body piercing and tattoos into one big policy.

Well obviously the Supreme Court's got nothing better to do right? No cases to try, no laws of the land that need updating? What exactly prompted them to get involved in global warming? They better be doing this like extra-credit, otherwise I'm going to get all sorts of pissed off.


Yesterday I was making a list of phone numbers and addresses because I'm just terrible with that. After two years I finally know my dad's address, but I had no idea what the zip code was. Being there's an area code reference, I thought for sure there was some sort of zip code search engine and I was right. Still, not content with just finding this I did a little learning. Apparently it's ZIP code because ZIP is an acronym for Zone Improvement Plan. But what I liked best about the Wikipedia page was the pop culture section near the bottom of the page.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

check yes or no

I wondered why my dates haven't gone well these last few times. Stupid Google. I'm not saying that there's anything bad but I'd like to blame my failures in this field on something besides me. It's my God given right. Note: There's a pornstar named Lisa Phillips? Whatever happened to the clever names meant to describe parts of the body? Ah, the good ol' days.

Turning fear into anger. This pregnant woman proves that you should just never mess with women in her condition.

Check out the story highlights in this article. "Studies have found virtually no evidence supplements improve health your health" Is it just me or does that not make sense? You'd think someone would've caught that, don't they have people that check this stuff? I know my spellcheck catches this stuff.

So I'm guessing that the Rutgers women basketball players aren't nappy-headed hos then? I also enjoyed the apology, nothing like awkward backpedaling.

Monday, April 09, 2007

city

Disney puts the "fairy" in fairy tale wedding. Not that I care about that kind of thing, no really I don't. What gets me though is the final sentence in the article where the South Baptists boycotted Disney for eight-years on the grounds that it was violating "moral righteousness and traditional family values." OK, there's so many things wrong but I'm going to start with the obvious. Why did the SB's stop? They finally figure out that nobody cared enough to join them? Maybe I'm a pessimist but can righteousness really be moral? Sounds an awfully lot like Pride to me and isn't that the one of the seven deadly sins? If righteousness is moral, then how does one violate it? And finally traditional family values. What is that? And how does a company violate that too?

I tend to take things as a dare more often than I should and mostly when they're not actual dares. So in this one sentence I hope that this blog is blocked by Turkey. F**K YOU ATATURK. F**K YOU AND YOUR STUPID LAW THAT PROHIBITS YOUR OWN PEOPLE FROM INSULTING YOU. ARE YOU THAT F**KING INSECURE IN YOUR MANHOOD THAT YOU HAD TO MAKE IT A LAW? ATATURK, YOU F**KING LITTLE C**KSUCKING MOTHERF**KER, BIT*H A$$ WANNABE! Yeah I got a little bit of a filthy mouth.

So I have to wonder about Zoloft as a drug. It's an antidepressant right? So I'm perturbed why that an antidepressant makes people suicidal is a good thing to have around. Conversely, this should prove that Zoloft doesn't make people suicidal. Hmm, I dunno. A 12yo operates a pump-action shotgun and kills his grandparents, and then sets fire to the house. To me that sounds a bit excessive and maybe just a little too well thought out. I guess the jury agreed with me because he's safely behind jail.

The "victim" is stupid. A zero-tolerance policy is easier to enforce when there's written proof. I bet he even labeled it at the top didn't he? Good job there. Yeah so you got threatened to be beaten up. Obvious response would be to kill them. What the hell? Why all the extremist thoughts and actions? Eye for an eye? Nope, Eye for your whole family. Geez, that kid doesn't need anymore schooling. Honestly, there's nothing he can learn in 5th grade that he couldn't learn in a terrorist training camp.

You know, one of these days I'm going to do it. I'm going to travel at a leisure pace. I think it'd be nice. Like a nice slow boat ride to Spain? Hike across Europe? It'd be slow and calming.

Friday, April 06, 2007

lean back dirty

If nothing, it was an ingenious method. Granted you can't do that in this day and age. I mean, the only approved methods are quiet scolding and time out. School is like prison, you knock one out and the rest just fall in line. But nooooo, you can't do that huh? Fear is a good motivator, got me going all the way through high school. Thanks mom!

Technology may fuel stupidity. More cases of the good kind of stupid. I'm glad that young criminals are getting stupider. Maybe there's hope in the dark cloud of stupidity. I mean, seriously? Distributing video of a crime you filmed while committing? C'mon, why don't you just stop off at the police station right afterwards and save us all the trouble.

I admit I prefer watching a TV show on DVD, no commercials, just episode after episode for an entire season in a weekend. It's good, but unfortunately it doesn't keep shows on the air to keep them putting out more DVDs (Family Guy being the exception). So when people complain and want shows to get axed in the first season it just under my skin. Let the shows develop, find a balance, the story will get better. GIVE THEM TIME, not every show is a hit right off the bat like Friends or Seinfeld.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

whoop (there it is)

Last night (among the other shows) I watched South Park and their interpretation of the relationship between the Resurrection of Christ and the Easter Bunny. Suffice to say I was amused, of course had I been Muslim and the topic having something to do with Islam I probably would've just gone out and bombed some people and blew up a few buildings.
Of course we posed this question in Kuwait in 2004 and our new soldier, John-Mark, gave us an answer. It sounded plausible and plus he's old so he must be wise. Right? I mean he's OLD, like he watched Return of the Jedi in the theatres! OK, enough with the teasing of old people. John-Mark explained Easter/Easter Bunny like this. In the old days when Christianity was spreading, in order to get people interested (or whatever, convert) the missionaries would often integrate pagan rituals into the religion. The pagan fertility ritual nearly coincided with the presumed date of the resurrection of Jesus and so they two were combined. So Jesus and the Saxon goddess Eastre joined forces. Jesus, a man, and Eastre, whose icon was a rabbit join to form a guy in a rabbit suit. And now Christians around the world go to church and then go find painted eggs the someone held the night before. A good ol' time is had by all.


Onto the news!

Moron hires fetal hitman. OK, I made that sound worse than it is. The hitman isn't fetal, the target is fetal. The hitman was actually an undercover cop. Three grand to rough up your ex-girlfriend so bad it forces a miscarriage? More than just bad advice there Sparky, that's just plain stupid. Although I give props to him for originally (pre-hitman) wanting to help raise the kid. In the end though, none of it happened.

OK, there's got to be more than what's being reported and so I checked out Wolf's site. Got his point of view. Now I've got a clearer picture. Yes, the prosecution was trying to build a case, but the testimony of a journalist taping a crime scene just reeks of lack of credible evidence. Everybody is wrong though, nobody is right. If I shot a video of a crime scene you better believe that I'll turn in it, but as far as testifying? What am I going to say? "I don't know." is what. The only reason I wouldn't turn in a video of a crime is not the First Amendment but more along the lines of the Fifth. Still, in lieu of Wolf not turning in the video, yes a subpoena is required. However, to subpoena a testimony of a bystander is extreme. Usually people can be convinced to do it on their own without the need of a subpoena. I understand that Wolf felt uncomfortable that it was "secret" grand jury that he was meeting in front of, but do you understand that there's security precautions involved? You're talking about people willing to burn things to get their point across. Do you really want it to be public knowledge that people are attempting to put them in jail are meeting in this very public, accessible building? Yeah, that's smart. Go put your padded helmet on before you knock yourself out.


Aw, it's like a techno-twist to a real life homeward bound. See? Computer chips can help animals too. Happy news!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

avoid the light

Huh. Things have certainly changed since I was a kid. There were usually spitball fights, maybe some paper football going on, or getting up and drawing on the chalkboard, and some nerds would get homework done. Nothing as lewd as that article. Seriously, I have no idea what's going on in the minds of kids these days.

Um, show me the Illinois law that covers negligent dancing and I'll stop typing. One of the things that amused me was the allegations; the suit says she suffered a fractured skull and brain damage. I'll give the fractured skull but brain damage? Are you sure? Is it possible you suffered that before the accident? I mean to be tossed in the air by an amateur, uh no thanks. It takes two to toss someone in the air (unless one of the people is a midget) and guess what? If you say it was against your will then your interference could be attributed to your injuries. Lose-lose in my book. Drop the suit and try to overcome your brain damage.

You've got to love the latest hippie trends. They're a blast to laugh at aren't they? The people I mean. And I love the cute intro line "upward facing belly pose" because you know what? I'm going to use it as part of the Army PT workout. Up next, pooping with your dog. A toilet for you and man's best friend.

Well, to be honest he was old and probably never got the same set of instructions that we got as kids. I remember a little from the fire safety classes. Stay low. Avoid elevators. Get out. Once out go to a neighbor's house and call 9-1-1. In this case though, the guy goes back into burning house to retreive cell phone to call 9-1-1. Yeah, I'm hoping this guy didn't procreate.

I was going to open with a pun here but I thought this might be in bad taste. Damnit! Can't type a sentence without making a joke. OK, besides the self-scolding here's the article on the effects of water intoxication. Like the adage, "too much of a good thing..." something something something. Water = good. Two gallons of water in short period = bad. I only wish that DA was an agent. Huh? Yeah, Agent Scully. While this wasn't exactly X-Files worthy it certainly is rare.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

no woman, no cry

I wish I could have this kind of fun at work. Those guys know how to have fun don't they? Although I'd be interested in this TiSP.

Of course when something like this happens you've got to say that it's not a joke. Ha. I'm still laughing at them.

Umm, couldn't they have found a better species for the protagonist? Especially if they want to teach kids about tolerance? Maybe that's the point? Have the kids laugh at the name and not the hideous birthmark that has disfigured the young? Well if that's the case it worked because I'm laughing.

And Americans constantly wonder why "the rest of the world hates us?" Well, it's stuff like this where we show that we have entirely too much time and money on our hands.

Monday, April 02, 2007

roll out

Two weeks ago I did my taxes and did the whole eFile thing, according to the rumor it takes 6-9 days to get your federal tax return. Good, because I actually got a sizeable refund this year. So last week in anticipation of getting my tax refund I decided to spend the little cash I had on some items that I was going to get when I got my refund anyway. Problem = front speakers of car as old as car, do not work. Solution = buy new speakers. Well, after debating what size the speakers were (the book says they're 5 1/4, but I bought some and had to return them because they're the wrong size) we just took them out and carried one into Best Buy. After locating a set of speakers the right size and probably they right depth we go back. Uh-oh, not quite the right size but the speakers do come with a spacer so it made it OK. So what else could go wrong with this seemingly simple project? Oh, the speaker doesn't line up with the cradle so now the wires come loose from the speakers willy-nilly. Argh. So I was going to fix this problem on Saturday. Was actually going to re-wire all my speakers. Small projects to slowly replace the aging equipment. Only thing that could stop that? Rain delay. Now I don't mind the constant rain but it was very sporadic showers. One second it would be pouring down rain then next thing I know the sun's out evaporating the rain on the ground and it looks clear. Just as I collect my stuff to go work on my car it pours down again. It did this for several hours, but I gave up after the first time it did it to me. Had a good weekend though, good enough to take most of Sunday to recover.