maybe so

So maybe UPS isn't the place for me. I'm not looking back on it though. It messes with my rhythm of life. Me, I've always been concerned about people. Not productivity. I understand there's a quota to be met and I did my best. We're supposed to unload 1200 packages an hour, work continuously for four or more hours with only a ten minute break given at random throughout the night. Little to no air circulation in the back of the trailers, what they do give you though is a nice big ol' light to heat you up even more though.
Maybe I'm getting old. Heck, I know I'm getting old. Still, I don't need that crap. At the beginning of the night and in the middle I was unloading approximately 1300 packages an hour but if you time me in the last thirty minutes or so? Yeah, I'm tired and yeah I'm going to go slow. It was my third day, I didn't fully expect to be working at full productivity but they did apparently.
Screw them. I've got supervisors tell me that it's a "dangerous" work environment. And I can't be afraid of bruises. Really? I've worked in a "dangerous" environment. Hell, I'll even go as far as to say it was a hostile environment. A place where people were trying to kill me. As far as bruises go, well I've been blown up twice so bruises really don't concern me. So what point are they trying to make about working at UPS?
I don't need the money that badly.

livin'

Well, I passed the first two parts of my ten-part sorter test. Unfortunately, I've lost some old M16A2 serial numbers. I don't need them, they were from five years ago but my biggest worry is the finite space I have in my head. Oh well, I worry about that later when I have more to remember.

Tabby scares me. I was thinking about getting a cat but now? Nah, I guess the ancient Egyptians had it right when they thought that cats were the guardians of the afterlife. Nah, I couldn't get a cat, I'm out of the house too much to care for one.

Not really news for me, I see people like that all the time.

Huh. I guess that excuse doesn't work. Maybe the first couple of times but 292 times? I guess that's worth $50,000 bail, I wonder if it's a cash or surety. There's a big difference.

Mmm, kalamari. I'm craving some seafood now.

Ah yes, more babies for the fodder. I'm kidding but that's a good thing for this world. Some more little smiling faces (it could be gas...) now if we could just do something about keeping the parents around and maybe the world they live in.

Made in China. I would go crazy trying to do what she did. I wonder if she counts Taiwan too.

pennies & dimes

Day One: UPS unloader trainee - OK, well I had to leave class early Monday night to make my first day as a trainee. I'd be working the twilight shift. Nope, not the graveyard shift, I guess it sounds scary or something. So I had the distinct honor of being selected to take the sorter test. There's some advantages to it, first off it'd be "easier" work. By easier I just mean it'll be less physical. Second, it's $1 more per hour from the get go. Woo! $9.50 an hour! The down side? Memorizing zip codes. Harder mental work, whereas as an unloader there's no mental strain except to wonder how fast I can unload a truck. So what to do? I have to take my first test tomorrow, it's not bad I just have to memorize the zip codes in Indiana, how hard can that be? Well, for me there is one issue. Being a unit armorer in the Army has completely screwed me in memorizing numbers. Whew. I barely know my necessary numbers (cell phone, social security, address). I couldn't tell you what my dad's phone number is or my friend Wes'. At one point I had memorized every single weapon's serial number in my armsroom, the pertinent technical manuals, the required forms, and any of the work-related numbers. Today, I can still remember most of those numbers but as far as new numbers go it takes me awhile.
So there's no danger in taking the sorter's test, so I might as well go for it right? I guess there's no real gripe here. I'm just feeling old because what used to take me seconds now takes me days/weeks/months to memorize. It's like I'm 29 or something! Christy, you'll forever be 22.

three little pigs

Man, do I find capitalism funny. Everyone wants to make money. Big corporations will outsource jobs to India, or Mexico in order to "cut costs" and thereby eliminate jobs in the US, then turn around a sell it to Americans. The only problem is that people without jobs usually don't have the money to buy these cheaply-made products at outrageous prices. Huh, I can't figure it out. And I understand big business too, who really wants to pay a guy $25/hour to basically watch a computerize system do his actual job? Oh, and if he works more than 8 hours a day it shoots up to $40/hour, rounding up to the nearest half-hour.
Here's big business trying to squeeze just a little more money out of people. Renting music? Really? That's funny, like I'm going to pay every month to listen to music that I could go out and buy one-time. Music is a one-time purchase. Oh, unless this is some sort of clever ploy to get people to buy CDs again.

I wonder if there's a nifty little guide for making teens and adults stop whining. Oh yeah, just a quick 1-2 combo, knocks them out every time. This method also works on kids too.

50 Bullshit Jobs and what you can do to have them! And if you have troubles with getting your resume together for any of these jobs, just use some of these great tips.

first of the month

Well, it's the start of a new month. Work is moving to new office space, I don't know if it is closer to home or not. It's probably about the same distance which is fine by me. What's been pissing me off lately (as if I needed an excuse) is my boss. Before I joined the company I worked as a furniture mover at United Van Lines for a year. I've done household, spec com and commercial moves. I'm not stellar in any of those fields but I have an understanding of what needs to be done and how to do it. So in this move I thought I'd be a logical choice to be on the team. Right? Nope, I didn't even get asked. Instead, I did what I do and forced my way in on the issue. Then my boss tells me, "Oh, you *don't* have to help if you don't want to." ???? What kind of statement is that? Then he tells me that he thought I was better than that. Bahahahahaha. No. Obviously I'm not. I work on my own car, wash my own clothes, iron my uniforms and shine my boots. He might think that he's better than that, but I know he's not. It's not the fact that he has a personal assistant and before that had a maid service, it's the fact he hasn't done a day of manual labor and doesn't understand its value in society. Example: He will bring in something from his home that is maybe ten-fifteen pounds, so he'll come into the office empty handed and then ask me to retreive it for him. I find out too, that his personal assistant put it in his car too. So basically he drove it here. Wow, that's hard! Or how about this feat of redundancy? He has magazines that I have to sort. After coming from the post office, he goes straight into his office and puts all of the magazines into a pile, comes out and puts them on my desk because it's part of my job to organize them. Here's the catch though, all of the magazines are in his office. So I have to go back to where they were just a few seconds ago and follow him back to his office to sort them. I understand that if it's my job to pick up shit, it's my job. That's fine, I can live with that but if you pick up the shit and walk past a trash can just to give it to me to throw away then I think that's stupid.
My boss claims to be a smart man, OK, he graduated college. Yay! Here's the runner-up story of all time. He was telling us a story, near the end said, "...yeah, so he'd buy cigarettes and then turn around and sell them for a profit to others, it was LIKE racketeering." Uhh, no, sorry it is racketeering.
This one takes the cake though. Bill was talking about his recent trip to St. Louis and all of the stuff he had to pick up at home; how full his car was with his stuff and his girlfriend's stuff. Bill says, "Oh, I picked up an oil filter and oil filter wrench for the bike down there too." Now my boss has been in this discussion the entire time so he didn't just walk-in on the conversation. So my boss replies with, "Why didn't you just get it changed down there?" We all just looked at him, dumbfounded. We put the pieces together quickly, but he hadn't yet. Breaking the silence, I think Bill said, "Because the bike was up here." There was a pause and then you could see the light go off in his mind. Oh...


Ah, I feel better. Now I can go work.

it would make my day

Have you heard? Toshiba joins the massive recall of Sony-made batteries. Yes! That's great, I wonder if this laptop I'm typing on could explode on me? That would make an interesting story wouldn't it?
"Well, I was just sitting in my living room when *poof* my laptop started smoking and I felt a weird, sort of burning sensation in my legs. Oops, my laptop burned into them."
Nah, I wouldn't be able to do much now would I? Still, a little pain is sometimes necessary to have an interesting story to tell people.
OK, well, I have to go check and see if this laptop's battery has to join the recall. Wish me luck!

$554M down the drain.

According to ABC News, businesses lost an overall $544M this year, in salaries to employees goofing off. In a survey conducted by Salary.com and America Online, employees 'waste' an hour and fifty minutes a day. This includes, surfing the web, running errands, socializing with co-workers, and zoning out. I don't know about those numbers, I'd think there'd be more time wasted but maybe there's a huge business where the employees are like machines, just work, work, work. My guess would be that people understated the time they spent goofing off.
Me, I 'waste' about five hours at work on the internet. I'd admit it too on an anonymous survey. That'd average out with two people that said that they don't 'waste' any time during the work day. That can't be right can it?
I make myself sound like a bad employee don't I? I should clarify that I also come in about 30 minutes early, don't take lunch, leave late, and work from home. I'm salary, I don't get overtime, I don't have to punch-in or out. Just as long as I meet my deadlines I'm good, so what if I surf the web or take a personal call at work? It just so happens that most of my brillant ideas work the same hours I do, 9am-5pm.

Sidenote: I just an email from my boss replying to my update on a project I'm currently working on, telling me to keep up to good work.
http://www.yahoo.com/s/376297