**it happens

I really should've listened to my mom. TV can kill you. Of course it's not a metaphor like my mom intended... I hope. I did kind of piss her off at times, she may have been tempted to chuck a TV at me.

Is it just me or does this sound dirty? He "donated" sperm while they were dating. She confirms that he "donated" sperm but it wasn't the sperm they used. Sadly, I don't think sperm is the dirty word repeatedly used here. OK, maybe I am all dark and twisty.

Because it reminded me of a 'Sports Night' joke and not because I'm being mean. It's funny. "Canadian Coast Guard Rescues 22 From Flaming Ship." To clarify, the boat's on fire, not gay.

Eh. I'm not impressed. What would've been impressive was if the inmates built their own helicopter. I dunno from what, but MacGyver could've done it from some prison trays, a fork, and a floor buffer. See? That would be impressive and worthy of a pardon. Can't pardon anyone again for making their own helicopter, but still. If you go through all of that...

ding

Well, I've been gone but stupid people are still out there. You know what the worse thing about all of this is? They'll probably put new warning labels on dryers telling us not to put our kids in them. Something along the lines of inappropriate drying methods for babies.

What the? This doesn't make sense to me. How exactly did their civil rights get violated? I understand how someone not of this country can sue someone that is (I don't agree with it in this case). This is like suing God. OK, it's not but it's a frivolous lawsuit. It's like a burglar breaking into your house, then suing you cuz you shot him. Damn right I violated your civil liberties.

That was the plan? A delivery? I'm surprised that he's been alive this long. That was the plan, he didn't even have the ingenuity of a DiGiorno pizza commercial. At least that kid wrote "Pizza" on his hat and shirt. It wasn't much of a plan, in fact, it was the worse plan every.

Happy stuff!