read the fine print

Over the years I have enjoyed reading the fine print in TV commercials for various products. Of course the most noticeable are the ones that like to contradict themselves, state the obvious, or are just plain stupid.
I first started a few years ago with a Bayer commercial. The voice-over told us that if (Bayer) taken during a heart attack could prevent death. Wow! That's a miracle drug! Wait, but the tiny, tiny print at the bottom says that there's been no proof that if it was taken during a heart attack that Bayer could save a life. Which is it? Huh, that's scary.
Lipozene is a new product that has not received FDA approval but currently advertising. It is a weight-loss product. "In a University study 78% of the participants report weight-loss." OK, first off I haven't heard of a company called University, because if you read it, they capitalize it as I did which leads me to believe that it is the name of a testing company. Next, in the fine print area they actually tell us that the average weight loss was 3.86lbs. Let's round that up, so that's 4lbs. Really? That's it? I know that's an average so there's some that lost a lot of weight and some that didn't lose much or any at all or gained a few pounds. Hmm, interesting. Moving on now, one of the key selling points of Lipozene is that "you don't have to change your diet" and you could lose the weight. Unlikely. But at the bottom of the screen it says that "Diet and exercise are recommended." Again, what is the message? If I take Lipozene and just sit on my couch I could lose weight? Or if I go out, exercise and eat right I could lose weight? It didn't say that I had to take Lipozene AND diet and exercise I'll lose weight. Look, weight-loss is a simple formula. Input vs. Output. If you use more calories than what you put in, you're going to lose weight. Nothing new. I want to flip back to the beginning of the commercial, where the lady tells us the causes of weight gain and then she reassures the audience that "It's not your fault." Wait. WHAT? It's not MY fault that I'm fat? Yay! Apparently there's some sort of Fat Fairy that comes around every night and shoves Twinkees and Ho-Ho's down my throat while I sleep. If you believe that I have some prime beach front real estate to sell you at the bottom of the Pacific. Look, I'm fat because I'm lazy, I don't exercise, I eat badly, I smoke and drink, and I don't care! It's my fault. I don't blame anyone else.
Actually, I do care. I've always planned on getting back in shape (yes, I know round is a shape but that doesn't count!) and hopefully do something productive with my life. It's just there's no real motivation for me to lose this "insulation" just yet.