Perusing through the online news services I stumbled across some diamonds in the rough. Across the world people are worried about famine, disease, civil war and genocide. Here in the grand ol' United States we have these top the US News section at CNN.
1. Indiana puts price on profanity. The only good thing about this article is the use of alliteration in the title. Nothing good has come from Indiana.
2. Molester blames wife's bingo habit. Bingo huh? Yeah, the judge didn't buy that either. He wasn't a perv, but someone else's "habit" made him that way. Can bingo really be a habit?
3. Frigid Midwest could lose power for days. Ah, finally, some hard hitting news! Something I can sink my teeth into. Yet, when I look at the article, I'm instantly drawn to the guy in the photo, smoking a cigarette while handling high-voltage lines. Yes! He rocks!
The US can't be all that bad right? I mean, there's always college basketball to cheer you up from all of this depressing news. Lincoln totally wailed on Ohio State-Marion. 201-78. You might think that was a blow out, but again you're focusing on the wrong part of this story. A bunch of 6th graders with Down syndrome and CP scored 78 points! That's a victory in my book.
Wait, I'm sorry, Ohio State-Marion doesn't have a CP basketball squad. So I guess they suck, how the hell do you score 200 points in 45 minutes? Did someone explain to OS-M that college basketball is played on a full court? None of this schoolyard half-court stuff, take it out to the line and then shoot.
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