napalm and silly putty

Taken from George Carlin's book.

Haven't I been saying this for awhile? Eating less and exercising takes off weight. But they had to do a study to find this out. It's mathematics people. Less intake, more output equals less weight. So while we're spending money on stupid things let's do another study OK? Here's the topic, tossing a ball up into the air. Where does it go? Seriously! *bleep*ing morons!

Not enough for me. I say give the guy the chair. Or I say we try to launch him into the sun. It just pisses me off.

I like cats. This superintendent is a moron. Yeah, some people mistreats cats and some are allergic, but to take them away all together? That's not very smart is it? How about segregating cat-lovers and non-cat-lovers. I realize that they're inmates but at this facility it's not like they keep prolific child molesters or triple homicide murderers.

This is a great answer to a stupid question.

In follow up news, Shetty won. Hmm, I guess the publicity helped huh? Maybe a little guilt too? Well played! Bravo!