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You know, sometimes I just want to stick them in a big camp where they can't hurt people. Maybe put some big furnaces to keep them warm in the winter... Is that bad?

How f**ked up do you have to be to carry your own grandkids? Don't get me wrong, it's admirable, but that doesn't make it any less f**ked up. I'd really like to be there when they explain it to the twins that grandma gave birth to them, not their mommy. Talk about a great environment for a serial killer. Whew, and they're twins?

Here's an idea. Get a beeper! The ol' dial and hang up routine huh? Just like when I was younger and called a girl but hung up because I was too nervous to talk to her.



I found it funny because one of my good friends from college just had a kid. A beautiful, bouncing boy named Will. So in a way, I've become an uncle.



And why guys end up pissing on everything.