Friday, February 29, 2008

reflex

As if life wasn't bad enough. Can you imagine getting robbed by twin, gay pornstar brothers? Well, that answers one question. Another one I've wondered about is where do midgets come from? From here apparently.

Whew. For a minute I was scared. I'm glad she's just having one baby. OK, more scared than I was before. I mean, at first she was pregnant and that ruined my chances. Then she got engaged and I thought "Oh, Crap!" So last week when I heard that she was rumored to be having twins I thought, "Well, that's just great." {sarcastic tone}

Win a date. I'd like to win the one with Scarlett. What? I'm superficial. I'm sure it's a worthy cause and all, but I stopped paying attention after, "Win a 'Special' Night With Scarlett Johansson." I did see the "click here to bid" though.

Ah, the dark side of the movie "Waiting." That's hilarious though, but I doubt it's going to keep cooks and servers from mistreating bad customers.

It's only funny because we were learning in class the rules for intiating a car pursuit and what circumstances to continue them. I can't believe he tried to run over a police officer.

This just raises more questions than it answers. 1. What was a lieutenant doing tasering a cow? 2. Why did he video tape it? 3. Why would you show it?
I can only think that he thought it would make a good training video.

Friday, February 22, 2008

my strangest fear

I don't know if you can use strange and fear in the same sentence. Oh well, so I have acrophobia. I'm acrophobic. I have an abnormal fear of heights. I don't know if it's abnormal or not. And it's not about the height, but rather the sudden stop at the end that I'm afraid of. That's right, I'm man enough to say it. What makes it strange is that I've rappelled off of 200ft cliffs, cliff-jumped into lakes, rock climbing, and lots of other stuff involving heights yet I'm still scared until I've done it. Then, it can reappear all of a sudden without warning and I'll be scared to jump off the same cliff I've been jump off of for the last hour.
If that doesn't sound strange here's something too. Lately I've been playing my Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy game. There's a couple of levels that involve heights (within the game) and there's ledges, no railing. I get nervous playing the game, almost like I get nervous jumping off of cliffs. It's not the exact same, rather just a less intense feeling, but I get that feeling playing a game with heights. You've got to admit that's strange, because I've got the cheat codes for invincibility and it's a kid's game so it's not like its the end of the game if my character falls over.

Did any of that make sense?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

been caught sleeping

I've been tired lately. Nothing to get me tired about but I just am. I think it has to do with the fact that it's still snowing outside. Not heavy, that'd be too easy but teasing, fluffy and cold. Crap weather.

About 9 years ago, my friend Bill and I had a crazy idea. Sledding behind a truck. Dangerous? Yes! Crazy? Yes! Fun? HELL YEAH! Since college we've done this on numerous occasions, usually on the first big snowfall. Sort of like a tradition. It's been fun, but as safe as we can make it. A few people, low-to-no-traffic areas, easily accessible, and communications. Since that first idea there have been a few crazier thoughts, usually brought about by alcohol, but this past week, one of those crazy theories now has form.

My roommate and I went around to drive through the snow and test out his new tires. Nothing harsh, but we ended up near one of our favorite junkyards. We decided to build a special chair. To go with our tow skiing adventures, we constructed a chair on skis giving us the capability of towing it behind a truck. Call this a guide to stupidity.

Step One: Purchase Chair
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Step Two: Adapt Chair For Skis
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Step Three: Adapt Skis For Chair
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Step Four: Design Mounts For Both Skis & Chair
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Step Five: Mount Chair & Skis, Making it a Ski Chair
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Step Six: Document Procedure
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I want to assure you that we did extensive planning for this. Mostly in thought, but there were a few notes, and even a non-scale prototype. OK, a jotted down dimensions and made a Lego construction but it's the same thing right?
We also re-finished the cupholders (yes, we plan on using them) and the wood mounts. We put thought into this. The skis and the chair can be separated as they are joined by 4 2.5in long, 14mm bolts. Why? Because the chair is still a chair and can be used in the house. Granted it's a redneck's house, but it is not just seasonal!
Look for future updates in crazy adventures. I'll be taking pictures and possibly video. Or, worse case scenario, the police blotter.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

misery

That'd be a sucky way to get HIV. I suppose it can't be helped, but as serious as this is I'm gonna laugh when I see those commercials seeking my money to help starving kids or HIV stuff that they're going to spend my money on knives and forks to help mothers feed their children.

So I wonder if I'm cheaper because I'm a fat smoker... However, I can see sort of where they are coming from. It's just that if they're "healthy" people then they don't need to be in hospitals. So I don't know how they can define the "healthy" in that manner.

The next time you get pulled over by a cop for speeding, just remember, he's human too. If you don't make any sudden moves or piss him off, there's a good chance you won't die.

Waa! I think it's funny that they just want to remove the image from the English version of the site, but not in the other versions.

Ha! The Allied win this war too! Yeah, it's not a war but we like to be competitive. Our veterans live longer too!