what's that?

This morning I thought I actually ran out of things to rant about. Thank-you real life! Driving into work I was actually sitting at a stop light looking around. Most of the construction projects are finishing up in the area, can't complain there. Then I started looking at the other drivers with me at the stop light. The woman to my left was on her cell phone jabbering away. The guy to my right was on his cell phone too, though I doubt he was talking to the woman on my left. It also looked like the guy behind me was on his phone too. Damn, it must be a long light sequence. Oh, look, people passing perpendicular to me. One, two, three, four, five. All on their cell phones. I felt sorta left out because I wasn't on one of mine.
My friend M. won't even consider buying a car with a manual transmission because of the fact that he's on the phone at least half of the time he's in the car. He doesn't even know how to drive a manual.
I hate trying to drive and talk on the phone at the same time. Especially in cities because it already takes two hands to drive, the addition of the cell phone throws a wrench in the whole process. Yes, I do have a hands-free set but I only use it on my longer trips.
My gripe isn't with the cell phone, but what it makes people not do. Like pay attention to traffic, or lights, and accidental lane changes. That cell phone is a distraction. I've been the fifth car to turn and not made the turn because the first guy in line is on the phone. It's a 30-second light, that's enough time for ten cars or more. Instead it's only enough time for four cars. Now I've spent three minutes at a light because some jackass is talking instead of making out the difference between red and green.
Yes, your life is moving at Mach One. Just don't get in my way because I'm moving at Mach Two. One of these days I'm just going to buy an old, beat-up truck and drive around with the sole purpose of pushing these idiots into oncoming traffic. <-- Yes, it's pre-meditated.

the day before tomorrow

Awkward idle conversations with strangers always involves the weather. Inevitably the phrase "Yeah that's (insert state), just wait 10 minutes. It'll change." comes up. That's true for every place except the polar regions. It's the weather! That's what it does! It changes!
In the last two weeks, the weather report for Carmel, Indiana has been wrong 80% of the time. "Partly Cloudy" Well, that's vague. Yeah, there's some clouds in the sky. A six year-old could tell me that. "Chance of rain." Duh, there's always a chance. It's not Antarctica. There's also a chance of a meteor strike but the weather-person doesn't seem to mention that. So far, whenever the weather called for scattered thunderstorms, there was a light drizzle. Yeah, really scattered. What the hell? I'm trying to plan my day around the weather. Can't wash my car in a thunderstorm now can I?
I think meteorology is the only profession where you can be wrong most of the time and not get fired. Well, that and fortune-telling. It's the same thing though, just one is on the local news and the other is in some tent at the carnival. Time after time they're wrong and we still put so much faith in the weatherman/woman. "Oh, it's a hard job." No it's not! They've already come up lots of vague descriptions to use, just reach into the hat and pull out one. "What? Chance of snow in Saudi Arabia? Yeah, I guess that could happen with global warming and the greenhouse effect." They make it more accurate by attaching a percentage to that chance. "20% chance of rain." What exactly does that mean?
And one more thing, I don't care what the weather was like 100 years ago! Put the Farmer's Almanac down! The weather 100 years ago doesn't affect the weather today or tomorrow. Yes, it is interesting that the temperature 100 years ago today was 78 and tomorrow it's going to be 80. Wow! Not newsworthy. That's just like telling me that on the set of Star Trek: The Next Generation, most of the pipes you see in the background are labeled GNDN; goes nowhere, does nothing. Interesting but not newsworthy!
Tomorrow I predict that somewhere it will rain, somewhere else it might snow, and it will be partly cloudy. I could be right... unless it's the end of the world, I didn't predict that.

manic monday

I don't think I can blame this on my day job. This falls squarely in the pet peeve category. Spelling. Now to be fair I can't spell to save my life, my grammar sucks. It doesn't sux, it sucks. I like commas too, probably too much for my own good. I'm working on it a little in my spare time.
I understand in text messages that using shorthand is almost necessary. Not everyone has a full keyboard on their phones. I only have half a keyboard on mine. Going back even further, pager text messages. 911 meant urgent and 143 means I Love You (got that from a song). None of this applies to instant messaging (unless done from a phone), posting on a bulletin board, or blogging.
I realize that there are a lot of words that we use in everyday life that we can't spell correctly right off the bat like miscellaneous or circumference. That's what spell check is for, use it! Things like skool, recieve, dats, da, or b4 I can't stand. Proofreading folks! Learn it, use it, love it. Don't be stupid, stay in school. Or rather skool. They teach mnemonic devices still right? 'I' before 'E' except after 'C' and all that right?
I dislike the fact that there are people my age that can't spell to save their trailer. That's 25 years doing something, every single day and they still suck at it. Grr. Precluding any ailments or physical handicaps, that's like not being able to walk. Funny as it may look, they're just taking up valuable space and resources. Imagine fully grown adults walking around like they were toddlers, just walking around and falling for no reason, or walking into tables and buildings. Funny? Yes. Waste? Yes.
Either learn how to spell or just don't use those words that you can't or just open a word document, let the computer help you. Derrrrr. Ding, fries are done.

drive, drive, drive

What a weekend. It all starts Friday, I cut out of work early (about 4pm) at my boss' advice. Went to a friend's house to drink, don't remember much after that... although I did make the decision to go up to my dad's place some time that night. Woke up kinda late on Saturday morning, went back to my place to grab some clothes, shower, and the like. Made the five hour trek in six hours, I took a scenic route that didn't require the tollpike. Found a place called Hicksville, OH. I thought it was sorta redneck-ish and funny, that kept me amuse for almost ten minutes.
Got to my dad's, had some leftover pizza and then went shopping. He got me two shirts and two ties, which I thought were expensive but he thought were midly priced at $21.99 (shirts) and $10.99 (ties). We filled up gas at Costco at $2.24 for 89 octane which is damn cheap. Got home and went through some of his stuff, picked out some things I need that he doesn't use. I went with the full-size air mattress (yes! no sleeping on the couch for me!) and then I scrounged around for some of my old stuff. Before they moved, my parents pretty much threw away everything of mine. I have maybe half of my Lego collection, none of my books, no video games, and only a select few writing samples of mine for the early years.
Sunday morning, dad made some omlettes and I was on my way to Cincinnati to pick up the rest of my stuff from my old apartment and grab my mail. Now, under normal circumstances I would make the voyage from Cleveland to Cincinnati in just over three hours, this trip took me almost four! The cops were out in force, speed traps and basic trickery was afoot for the Labor Day weekend. So I did 75mph all the way. It was good too, Stacy got 39 mpg on that leg.
It only took me 20 minutes to load up my stuff in Cincinnati. My buddy called me just before I got to my place saying that he needed me to help him drive a second car to the airport. To which I replied, that I didn't think that I'd be able to make it, I was looking at about three hours before I got home.
Well, I got onto I-74 from Cincinnati to Indianapolis and found myself behind a '96 Honda Accord doing 100+ and whoosh, I was gone! I gotta give props to my girl Stacy, fully loaded and doing 105mph on the freeway she still got 36 mpg.
Got to Indy in time to help my friend, we picked up his family at the airport and went home. I unloaded my car, went back over to my friend's house and proceeded to drink (again).
So now it's Monday and I'm checking the fruits of my labor. First things first, air mattress. Plugged that bad boy in and fired it up. Clunk, clunk, clunk. Opened it up and the plastic fan blades are damaged. DAMNIT! So I'm going to try something more productive and sort out my Lego. There's miscellaneous toys and Construx in with my Legos. I think I spent a good two hours doing that today, but they're now sorted.
Grabbed the rice cooker I got from my dad's. At first I looked around and couldn't find the power cord, I searched the bag, the other stuff I brought in and still couldn't find it. I was seriously thinking about calling my dad and bitching him out for giving me all of his broken stuff. Then I lifted up the cover and inside was the detachable power cord. Had me some rice and spam.
All Monday though, I watched the Dark Angel marathon on the SciFi channel. Yes, I already own the entire series on dvd but that's not the point. I don't know what the point is but there's one to be made.

good morning, fake greetings

Whenever someone walks past me and says, “Hey, what’s going on?” I usually have some sort of off-the-wall reply which makes them stop. This is usually good enough to get them to never ask me that again. I realize that certain phrases have become acceptable greeting. I go by the rule of lawyers though, never ask a question that you don’t know the answer to already.
Also unacceptable for a greeting is, “Good morning.” Good is something subjective. Are you trying to impose your worldviews on me? How do you know what kind of morning I’ve been having? You don’t know, so there’s no way for you to know that I am having a good morning. Strike one! When I tell people this, they automatically assume that I’m having a “bad” morning. Strike two! And don’t stick around and argue with me. Strike three! Accept the fact that from that moment on for the rest of the conversation I’m going to treat you like a retard. No, wait, I’m sorry. I don’t have anything against retards, it’s not their fault. No, instead you’re a dumbass because you have control over yourself but choose to ignore it. I have no patience for the dumb.
“Morning” is a horrible greeting. What’s the mean? You know how to tell time by whether or not the sun has risen? Thanks Mr/Ms. Obvious! Or are you implying that I’m a dumbass that can’t tell what time of day it is?
“What’s up?” is another horrible greeting. It’s a question! Questions like, “How are doing?” or “How’s it hanging?” are just dumb ideas if you truly don’t want a reply. I don’t understand rhetorical questions as greetings. Ask at your own risk.
Either mean what you say or just shut up. If I don’t know you, it’s perfectly acceptable to just nod or ignore my presence. That’s not going to hurt my feelings. You could just say, “Hi.” or “Hello.” I hate fake people!