i don't wonder why

I love this. I wish I had my will set up like this. Of course you're no longer wondering why they were murdered. I mean, if you leave that kind of will you're probably not a great person (or people, in this case) and were just asking to get killed.

No means no. The addendum to that is no also means don't pee on my dog. What the hell? How does getting rejected for sex turn into peeing on the dog? I dunno, but it sounds like something a psychotic serial killer/rapist would do. I feel sorry for the dog, nothing more on the status of the dog? The psychological damage done of having someone pee on you?

Not pointing out the obvious with this article (yet), I gotta say that it isn't the usual Catholic scandal. OK, so what is everyone concerned about? The fact that he's adopting someone or that he adopted a woman or the fact that she's 26 and how the f**k do you adopt an adult? I just want to know because it does seem weird.

Well that's just not cool. I mean, you'd think there'd be standards or something. Plus, they said "that children should stop using these garments if they develop a rash..." I know this is for the parents, but it sounds like they expect the children using this garments should stop using them instead. As if the babies wearing the baby clothes have the ability or knowledge to stop using them. Eh, I guess kids are smarter than me.

Here's one of the debates we usually have in one of our criminal justice classes. Yes, I think that parents are responsible for their kids, especially when it comes to getting them to school. However, I don't think that jail time is the answer. If the state takes the parent out of the equation for however long the sentence is, then guess what? The kids aren't going to make it into school and you're just encouraging them to violently beat their kids which isn't the answer either. Don't get me wrong, I love these anti-truancy laws but just reinstate public lashings. Hang the kid up next to the parent, whip'em for all to see put that on all of the networks. It'll be a regular thing like, "news at 6, lashings at 6:30." Fix'em up and send them back to work/school.

The problem is that kids don't have anything to fear, parents don't either. Pain has worked for millions of years, it still works. Violence, no; justice, yes.

Sounds like he did that out of spite. I mean, who doesn't see a big flaming fireball right behind them? Or who drives down the road, stop, throw the nozzle away, and then drive away. Release the f**ker's name. What the hell is going on?

Weird. That's going to be difficult to explain in a few years.

scotch

Tape. Who knew? How the hell did the find that out? I mean, I want to know under what circumstances did they find this out. Did some scientists leave some scotch tape inside of a vacuum and just decide to remove it? What were the looking for? I mean, I find it hard to believe that this was a planned experiment, unless they were thinking about using scotch tape to hold the space station together. Then I would just be concerned.

Well, they make it sound so much more worse than it really was. She was arrested for hacking, not murder. The headline is just for shock value. It's not like she beheaded a small kid in real life. I just don't know how this stuff happens, and why choose beheading. That's just got to be the hardest way to kill someone.

Again, like it was a cartoon. Shock value. It wasn't a real life Bugs Bunny v. Elmer.

Is it just me or is the criminal justice system a little weak? 18 months for pimping. Maybe there should be stronger anti-pimping laws. I guess the song lyrics are true, "pimpin' ain't easy."

Now it's just pissing me off. Sure the headline mentions some of the points in the story but they're all twisted around. It says "Mexican Toddler Killed While Fleeing Shootout with Mother." Here's what I see: The toddler was Mexican. While fleeing, so probably running away. Combined with the previous statement, the toddler was fleeing. Shootout (something with guns) with Mother. There's a shootout with the mother and the toddler. Obviously the mother got the upper hand and the toddler had to flee. So the toddler was shooting at his/her mother and the mother was shooting back. At some point, the toddler decided to run and was killed. Right? Am I the only one that sees that when you read the headline?

I thought about spending my bonus money on a trip like this. Then I thought, well none of my friends could go so what's the point of an experience like that? I mean if you can't share it with your friends. 

it's not you, it's me

You've got mail and gonorrhea! That's just not cool. I mean, what's the subject line on that email? "Got itching down there?" Some of those emails are kinda funny, but is it really the time to try to make someone laugh? I mean, they might have an STD. I guess the next logical step is to have a text message service. "You're too hot to be out of action. I got diagnosed with an STD since we played. You might want to get checked too." In Espanol too!

I wonder if they followed UXO procedures. It's just one of those things that I think about when I read about this stuff. And honestly, who uses landmines in their backyard? A Vietnam vet? Not all of them are crazy like that. Still, that must've have been fun.

This is the humor that a college graduate can generate? Yeah, obviously you can't just put blah blah blah, 137 times. That's not funny, that's just stupid. You can A) interject it every once and awhile. B) change it up with some yada, yada, yada. C) Make it funny. "Blah, blah, blah. Give money. We're helping blah, blah, blah. Then, yada, yada, yada.

Yeah! That's because everyone is racist, not just people in western Pennsylvania. I mean, even receipts are racists. About the receipt, what the hell is mall security going to do about it? I mean, they're not the FBI, it's mall security. They handle rowdy teens in the food court, not deal with civil liberties violations.

This one would be hard to explain to the insurance company. I wonder if that's covered, I mean, who has meteorite insurance? I should call my guys to see if I'm covered. Aww, nevermind, it's not space debris. Just crap falling off of planes (which doesn't sound good either).

All I can say is that it was funny. I actually laughed. And for the record, I've been using the term "equal opportunity offender" to describe me for awhile.

WHAT? THE? F***? OK, I wasn't going to buy the game, but it's music might accidentally offend Muslims? Well, I'm not saying that it's the wrong thing to do but really? I guess commonsense is really not all that common. Rated 'M' for Muslim.

it's not quite the same is it?

A freak accident? What's that? A kid dying or someone blocking a punt? OK, that's not right to make fun of the situation and I'm not (I'm sure a zebra is going to kick my ass later), but CPR? For a blocked airway? Uh, no. That's like removing a toenail to get rid of the flu. I can understand how someone could administer CPR to a kid for a blocked airway though, I mean, by the time the teacher got there the kid was unconscious and the other kids wouldn't be able to help with the situation; so the teacher does the only thing they can. Details are lost in the confusion, bruising around the neck or kids mentioning that he was conscious awhile ago. And for kids out there that want to try to block punts, keep your head down to your chest.

I'm feeling sympathetic today, because I don't want to completely rip apart people for doing stupid things. Just to put in context, the British version of 911 is 999. Well, 999 may have worked on the old style rotary phones (it wouldn't taken people awhile to dial it but whatever) and on home phones but I can see where cell phones might be a problem. I have received more than my fair share of "pocket dialing" where someone puts their phone in their pocket and calls me. I was the last person they called and dynamics in pockets can sometimes call the last dialed. What sucks though is that 999 has a computer program that automatically screens these types of calls, which in theory sounds good right? Cuts down on the wasted time of operators, frees up emergency lines. Seriously though, how much of a pandemic is it that 999 gets pocket dialed now? Is it worth it? I know it sounds like something from TV, where the victim secretly calls 911 (or 999) and keeps the phone on while the police trace the call and swoop in at the last minute to save the day but it does happen in real life. It sucks that a computer program screens for something else kicks out this call, because it could have saved her life. Now if a person had hung up on her that would've been different and I would've kicked someone ass but maybe they'll do something about the crappy system that frees up so much time.

Ah. Old school pedophile. I'm surprised anyone tries it anymore with the Internet in play. Well, I guess with parents and commercials warning about "online predators" that sometimes they forget to warn kids about the creepy dude in the clown costume and the really creepy van. Then again, I don't think kids are that stupid but I've been proven wrong before.

faster

Well, I'm done with my weekend work. The nightstand is doing well, I mounted a power strip and secured the wiring. Also, I managed to put my DVD collection onto my Macbook. Sadly, I'm at 599 titles (minus the duplicates) which goes to show you how sad my life is.

As high I might have been this weekend, at least I wasn't this stupid. So if you have money for bail, wouldn't you have money for McDonald's? I mean, I seriously doubt you can post bail in weed. There is a box marked "Other" but I don't think that's what they had in mind.

OK, I want to understand this correctly because I'm not understanding what the controversy is. Is it that they took first graders to a lesbian wedding? Cuz I don't remember much but I don't think I went on a field trip in the first grade, and if I did I probably needed parental consent. So what's the problem? Maybe it wasn't written out on the consent form, I can see the controversy in that.

Hey, this is offensive. It's not like Gitmo, there isn't a black room. I have to wonder though, how does the father know what Gitmo is like. I mean, the only people that know are US military personnel and the bad guys. If he wasn't US military that means he was a bad guy. *gasp* He's a terrorist! Or not.

Bahahahaha. I love South Park in the news. You know, I watched the premiere and thought, "Oh my God. Jews are raping Indiana Jones." OK, so I thought the crystal skull idea was a bit different from the previous movies but still. Plus, I thought the whole "China Probrem" was much funnier. Especially since Butters was shooting everyone in the groin which is a male faux pas. 

weekend kumite

 Well, this weekend I attempted to clean my bathroom.  It was more like a full-contact fight because I haven't "cleaned" my bathroom except for the random trash taking out. In anticipation I spent some money on the necessary items. Scrubbing Bubbles, scour pads, and power tools. OK, I didn't buy the power tools since I already owned them but I did bring it into the fight. I was tempted to bring in the circular saw to end it all but I think that was a bit too extreme. Still, the point of the power tools was to help me disassemble some things in order to clean them better. I know what you're going to say, that's it's a bit extreme but that's my OCD.

 I tried my best, but I was set back by the poor air circulation of my apartment. I had to take a number of breaks and I needed to get other things done. So I ended the match in a draw. I managed to clean the big items (toilet, shower, sink, floors, walls) but I didn't hit all of the details.

 In addition to cleaning my bathroom, I put the varnish on the nightstand that W helped me build. Of course by "help," I mean he only measured out the pieces, cut them out, screwed them together and I helped him. I wired up a power strip to the nightstand for all of my daily electronics (phone, camera, & iPod). I also began the difficult task of inputting my entire DVD collection into my Macbook. This other task would be helpful except for the fact that I own over 590 titles. I am discovering that I have several duplicates, which I'm not proud of; plus there are a few DVDs that I didn't even know that I owned.

enough isn't enough anymore

While I was away last weekend something completely strange happened. And it pissed me off. I waited a week because I thought, "hey this will work out." Nope. Now it's time for me to step in. WTF? What is going on? WISH-TV (CBS) isn't on my TV anymore. I miss my CBS programming. No NCIS, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Numb3rs, Flashpoint, and The Unit.

I don't trust anyone. My cable company says that it's not fair to charge subscribers for service they're not receiving from the station. The station says... well they don't say anything because the cable company isn't carrying them anymore. However, I did pull this from the Internet. How the hell does this happen? I always thought CBS was a national network. It hurts my brain to figure this out because no one is really talking about it. Everyone seems to have an agenda but I don't know what it is. It's about money, but for who? Not for the subscribers that's for sure. Both sides seem to think that the subscribers shouldn't pay more, but they want the money and where's the money come from? The subscribers. Argh! At some point I'm just going to pull them into an alley and beat the crap out of them until I get a straight answer.

Just to clarify, I'm not on any particular side. I hate my cable company. I've seen what Time Warner is capable of and it seems like Indiana got the 1990's version. I'm starting to hate CBS because it's a damn national network but the problem seems to be just the local station. 

So am I paying for this? Apparently. In more than one way too. At least it's not a damn writers' strike.

Fix this! Fix this now. The only thing keeping me sane is my TV. Do the math on what happens.

embrace the madness

So I don't get what one has to do with the other. OK, he won the lottery. What the hell does it have to do with his girlfriend being stuck on the toilet? Unless the "first lottery" was getting probation. And how the hell do you keep an adult in the bathroom for two years? How do you let someone keep you in the bathroom for two years?

Thank goodness for small miracles. She must've been a blonde to think that this lawsuit had a chance. I mean, what the hell? anti-depressants? Really? Can the government sue her for wasting their time? You know, charge them alot of money for such crap. Toss them in jail? I bet that would cut down on the stupid lawsuits. You know, something they'd remember, chop off an arm. Whatever.

OK. What? You expect people to believe that? Some shotgun shells fell onto a pile of newspapers, the paper was used in light the stove, the stove just happened to shoot off the shell in your direction. It is a lot of coincidences; but I guess the laws of quantum physics allow for this possibility. However, the police will have to decide.

I'm confused. At least it's not this.

Squeeze Left

secrets of the very large

Wait, so if I get the tone of this article. It's other people's fault? His family is blaming the hospital? The general public? When the hell did it become other people's problem? I'm fat. I don't blame the old lady downstairs. I don't blame the hospital. "...he had trouble breathing and eating." Really? You'd think that being 990lbs that his trouble wasn't eating but rather not eating. No. Unacceptable. Fat people, don't blame others. You want to lose weight? Put down the fork!

Well, I suppose that's one way to get a vote. Dude, that's almost as bad as having dead people vote. I really wonder how many registered homeless voters there are. I mean, don't you need to have polling location? Voting on districts and what not. That means you have to have a residence, a home. You know, something that the "homeless" don't have.

This would've helped so mistakes I've made in the past. Of course I probably wouldn't have gotten a lot of work done either so it's a draw. Although to be honest, I don't think I could solve all of those problems in 43 seconds. Maybe, maybe not. It's not like I time myself on those types of things.

This is probably going to be the most popular sport ever. Jeez, and you wonder why the rest of the world wants to blow us up. Three words. Lingerie Football League. Brilliant! Damn, if only I was smart enough to come up with an idea like that.

yeah, it's that good

CRASH! BOOM! BAM! Not the best ritual I think. I guess bashing in skulls really does open minds. You know, I've got this itch on my foot. I wonder if bashing in my head would cure me of that. Huh. I'm thinking this method might catch on in western medicine.

So I'm confused. Is it true? If so, what scientific methods did they use to test these theories. I mean, really? It is a great award, hell, I'd like to get one.

I guess there really is a pedicure police. I did not know that. Interesting.

not me

I don't even think I could do that. What the hell are you thinking? Really? You think that is the best line? "How far can you bounce?" You'd think that someone would get charged with something. That can't be right can it?

Is it worth it? I mean going to jail for that? How's that going to look? Acting tough in jail, "Yeah, I beat up a girl in a McDonald's line." He's a badass, he plays by his own rules. If he was really badass he would've ordered and eaten his meal then leave. Running out just means he's a little bitch, a little bitch line cutter.

Unreasonable force? Is there any such thing? OK, I'll admit that at first glance running a suspect over seems a bit excessive but why get out of the car to chase someone? Right? Then you've got to sweat, tackle them, detain them. Pfft, just run them over and you can take your time, fill out your report and then detain them. It's like stabbing someone when you've got a perfectly good gun. It's not unreasonable. I bet you they won't run from the cops again.

It will probably be in a movie. That was an awesome getaway plan. I'm not happy that crime occurred but you gotta admit that it was creative. Very creative.