Pirates. Arrr.
It's about time, those bastards deserve it. I say next time they use a real one, that'll show them!
Trample the cheerleader. Save the world.
Not guilty? Not guilty? How much more of a smoking gun do people need? I suppose there's a perfectly logical explanation for all of this. Here: The bird follows her home, puts its own leg in between the blades of a scissor and then cuts own leg off. You know what would've been funny though? If she cut off the wrong leg to get at the tag.
That's not a fair poll. It may have been if it was just about Halloween costumes, but presidential candidates as a scary costumes? Yeah, that's not a loaded question.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
because i can
Heroes.
It's not the comic books where people are imbued with superpowers from a spider bite or cosmic radiation. It's regular people like you and me that do extraordinary things. It's choosing to stay and help others when every neuron in your body is telling you run away. The bottomline is that it is only heroic when someone else's life at risk. Doing something to save yourself? That's selfish.
They don't give Medals of Honor for getting a prostate exam, or living a clean and virtuous life. Maybe my point of view is askewed by the fact that I'm serving in the military. Or maybe I'm just not willing to be so liberal about the term.
Taken out of context, most things that are heroic seem to border on the stupid. Me, I've taken off on foot to check on the dead and wounded in an area that had just been hit by an IED. The area was not secure, there could have been more IEDs in the area or an ambush waiting for someone just like me. In retrospect what I did seems to be stupid. Here's a non-military example: "Man runs in front of train." Sounds stupid right? Taken from this context though it seems heroic, "Man runs in front of train to save teen in its path." Even though the teen was probably fully capable of saving himself from the oncoming train, the man risked his own life to save the teen.
Here. Read up on some of them. Believe it or not, most of these citations are toned down and gloss over most of the details of the event. There's a limited amount of space on the awards worksheet. I'm not kidding. Mine only has a fraction of what I did on those specific days.
The two from combat action in Iraq.
CPL Jason L. Dunham, USMC
SFC Paul R. Smith, USA
And the one from combat action in Afghanistan.
LT Michael P. Murphy, USN
It's not the comic books where people are imbued with superpowers from a spider bite or cosmic radiation. It's regular people like you and me that do extraordinary things. It's choosing to stay and help others when every neuron in your body is telling you run away. The bottomline is that it is only heroic when someone else's life at risk. Doing something to save yourself? That's selfish.
They don't give Medals of Honor for getting a prostate exam, or living a clean and virtuous life. Maybe my point of view is askewed by the fact that I'm serving in the military. Or maybe I'm just not willing to be so liberal about the term.
Taken out of context, most things that are heroic seem to border on the stupid. Me, I've taken off on foot to check on the dead and wounded in an area that had just been hit by an IED. The area was not secure, there could have been more IEDs in the area or an ambush waiting for someone just like me. In retrospect what I did seems to be stupid. Here's a non-military example: "Man runs in front of train." Sounds stupid right? Taken from this context though it seems heroic, "Man runs in front of train to save teen in its path." Even though the teen was probably fully capable of saving himself from the oncoming train, the man risked his own life to save the teen.
Here. Read up on some of them. Believe it or not, most of these citations are toned down and gloss over most of the details of the event. There's a limited amount of space on the awards worksheet. I'm not kidding. Mine only has a fraction of what I did on those specific days.
The two from combat action in Iraq.
CPL Jason L. Dunham, USMC
SFC Paul R. Smith, USA
And the one from combat action in Afghanistan.
LT Michael P. Murphy, USN
Monday, October 29, 2007
let's sit
OK, so I'm procrastinating... Big deal. I'm supposed to be coming up with some presentations for the classes I'm instructing for my Army thing. Of course I couldn't stop at the two classes I'm giving next weekend, nope, I had to go ahead and do the other classes I'm doing over the next few months. Stop there? Why? I'm on a roll. Back in the day, on active duty, we used to have a huge training book. If you ever had to "teach" a class on any particular subject you just needed to pull out the book and pull the material you needed from it (return it afterwards). Poof. There's your class. My current unit lacks such a grand idea and in my infinite wisdom (or lack of a steady job) I've decided that would be my legacy. Put together this huge book. Or at least start it. The plan is to write the necessary outlines for instructors, a hard copy of a powerpoint presentation, and a cd with all the powerpoint classes. How well that goes, I'm not quite sure...
This weekend I got bored and watched into the CVS store near my house. The intention was getting one of those travel soap holders of a certain design. Why? Not because I'm planning on traveling, but a rather practical purpose not related to soap. It can be used as a cigarette pack holder. Getting back on track; I'm looking at the supposedly helpful aisle signs. I say supposedly because I locate the aisle I need but am curious as to the other signs in the store. I understand the concept behind them, they help shoppers quickly locate what they need. "Dairy" has dairy products. "Beverages" has an assortment of drinks, alcoholic and non. "Pharmacy" is the drugs. "First Aid" is the first aid. I'm curious though as to why anyone would come to a CVS for "External Pain." I'm going back tomorrow with my digital camera, but for now I'm wondering how someone can come up with this sign and not think that it's weird.
Not to make light of this story because I too used to hunt for dinosaur bones with my cousins when I was younger, but Texas is the ranked #2? Who's #1? Does this include subways?
If there's something, in the neighborhood. Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters! I suppose this is more for homeowners... you know, just in case.
Hahaha. Ginger Neanderthals! For more on the term, please click here. How cool is that Wikipedia redirected me to the red hair page from typing "gingers" in the search parameters?
See, I think this is how Mary Poppins really ended, but Disney had to give it a happy ending.
You know, if it didn't endanger other people's lives, I'd say let her do it.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This weekend I got bored and watched into the CVS store near my house. The intention was getting one of those travel soap holders of a certain design. Why? Not because I'm planning on traveling, but a rather practical purpose not related to soap. It can be used as a cigarette pack holder. Getting back on track; I'm looking at the supposedly helpful aisle signs. I say supposedly because I locate the aisle I need but am curious as to the other signs in the store. I understand the concept behind them, they help shoppers quickly locate what they need. "Dairy" has dairy products. "Beverages" has an assortment of drinks, alcoholic and non. "Pharmacy" is the drugs. "First Aid" is the first aid. I'm curious though as to why anyone would come to a CVS for "External Pain." I'm going back tomorrow with my digital camera, but for now I'm wondering how someone can come up with this sign and not think that it's weird.
Not to make light of this story because I too used to hunt for dinosaur bones with my cousins when I was younger, but Texas is the ranked #2? Who's #1? Does this include subways?
If there's something, in the neighborhood. Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters! I suppose this is more for homeowners... you know, just in case.
Hahaha. Ginger Neanderthals! For more on the term, please click here. How cool is that Wikipedia redirected me to the red hair page from typing "gingers" in the search parameters?
See, I think this is how Mary Poppins really ended, but Disney had to give it a happy ending.
You know, if it didn't endanger other people's lives, I'd say let her do it.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
boom boom la
Interesting. She's ill after falling five stories? Or am I not getting the full meaning of the word? Perhaps it can be used as a synonym for injured.
I say let him. The state has no reason to interfere in matters like this. Hehe. He severely injured one of his testicles... like it was separate from his body. Like he severely injured another man in a car accident...
In other words, the mice had washboard abs? Sweet. I want to get one. You know what will happen if people are allowed to do this? No, not washboard abs. Instead you'll have guys and gals with knee problems, nausea, vomiting, and other ailments because instead of doing it for 15 minutes a day they'll be doing it for hours at a time.
See? There are bad side-effects to doing drugs!
There's a free diamond park? Eh, they get you in the prices for refining them though huh? Ha, there's my marriage proposal! Make her work for it. That way she can't complain about it. It's almost like taking her to pick out a ring at a jewelry store...
With 10 hours you'd think he would have come up with a better excuse. If it were me I wouldn't have let him out until he told me what he was really doing. You can do better than a feline cat.
I say let him. The state has no reason to interfere in matters like this. Hehe. He severely injured one of his testicles... like it was separate from his body. Like he severely injured another man in a car accident...
In other words, the mice had washboard abs? Sweet. I want to get one. You know what will happen if people are allowed to do this? No, not washboard abs. Instead you'll have guys and gals with knee problems, nausea, vomiting, and other ailments because instead of doing it for 15 minutes a day they'll be doing it for hours at a time.
See? There are bad side-effects to doing drugs!
There's a free diamond park? Eh, they get you in the prices for refining them though huh? Ha, there's my marriage proposal! Make her work for it. That way she can't complain about it. It's almost like taking her to pick out a ring at a jewelry store...
With 10 hours you'd think he would have come up with a better excuse. If it were me I wouldn't have let him out until he told me what he was really doing. You can do better than a feline cat.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
all good things
Talk about some serious abandonment issues this kid is going to have later in life. To be fair though, at least the couple left the baby in a hospital. And for the mother, she left the kid with people she knew so it's like leaving the baby with the babysitter. Eh, at least the kid is going to have a long history when they become a serial killer.
I'm sorry, there's nothing funny about this but I can't help laughing. You have no idea how many news stories I've read in my time in Indiana about the Amish and vehicle accidents. You'd think with a community on horse-drawn buggies that there'd be less fatal accidents but it just isn't so. Usually it involves a semi-truck plowing into a buggy or a wooden wheel busting and flipping but I'm just not used to the Amish driving around in vans. Truth be told though, how experienced can an Amish dude be at driving? Plus, does being Amish mean they don't believe in seatbelts? Maybe they were ignorant to the laws of physics, but I think a few lives could've been spared if say, they weren't crammed in like sardines or if they were all wearing seatbelts.
Well, PETA might have their next poster model. So he eats red meat, but he does give mouth-to-mouth to animals. A cat? And a dog? The words above and beyond come to mind.
Mmm, is that broccoli you're wearing? See, not just good to eat but good for the skin too!
I'm sorry, there's nothing funny about this but I can't help laughing. You have no idea how many news stories I've read in my time in Indiana about the Amish and vehicle accidents. You'd think with a community on horse-drawn buggies that there'd be less fatal accidents but it just isn't so. Usually it involves a semi-truck plowing into a buggy or a wooden wheel busting and flipping but I'm just not used to the Amish driving around in vans. Truth be told though, how experienced can an Amish dude be at driving? Plus, does being Amish mean they don't believe in seatbelts? Maybe they were ignorant to the laws of physics, but I think a few lives could've been spared if say, they weren't crammed in like sardines or if they were all wearing seatbelts.
Well, PETA might have their next poster model. So he eats red meat, but he does give mouth-to-mouth to animals. A cat? And a dog? The words above and beyond come to mind.
Mmm, is that broccoli you're wearing? See, not just good to eat but good for the skin too!
Monday, October 22, 2007
all along the watchtower
Weird competitions. What's next? Nude, upside pumpkin carving? Yeah, let's spice things up with that. I bet I could make some money off that idea!
Not quite like chaining yourself to a tree, but this is a form of protest? Self-mutilation... interesting.
Haha. I guess "Guy Dies in Fall" isn't as catchy as getting killed by a Wild Monkey attack. Although the guy really did die because of the fall, not because of monkey attacks. Just a way to spin a story in order to garner attention to another problem. If we really wanted to blame something in this story, I'd say it was gravity. Yup, gravity claims another victim. People, please stop testing gravity, it's there, take my word on it.
That's an odd bit. I mean, no archery in an archery park? Because of "several" complaints from people over the last 15 years? Or more? C'mon a lot of people have complained about a lot more stuff lots of time but don't get anything done. A couple of people complain a couple of times each over a period of 15 years and that gets done?
This is why the Muslims have got it right when they don't allow women in the front seat. Plus, if she talks back to you, a man is well within his right to smack her around. You know what you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Not quite like chaining yourself to a tree, but this is a form of protest? Self-mutilation... interesting.
Haha. I guess "Guy Dies in Fall" isn't as catchy as getting killed by a Wild Monkey attack. Although the guy really did die because of the fall, not because of monkey attacks. Just a way to spin a story in order to garner attention to another problem. If we really wanted to blame something in this story, I'd say it was gravity. Yup, gravity claims another victim. People, please stop testing gravity, it's there, take my word on it.
That's an odd bit. I mean, no archery in an archery park? Because of "several" complaints from people over the last 15 years? Or more? C'mon a lot of people have complained about a lot more stuff lots of time but don't get anything done. A couple of people complain a couple of times each over a period of 15 years and that gets done?
This is why the Muslims have got it right when they don't allow women in the front seat. Plus, if she talks back to you, a man is well within his right to smack her around. You know what you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Sunday, October 21, 2007
400!
Yum. OK, so I like the reader's choice more. Not that the other list wasn't good either, nice EW.
This guy is my hero. I mean, this guy is still living in the 60's. 1860's that is. Geez. I'll admit that it takes some guts to say what he's said but still. I'm going to mix some of his ideas here but stay with me. If stupidity is genetics, then women who find their unborn children have this gene should have abortions.
Again, we're not quite grasping the notion of what is newsworthy. Guy jumping off a bridge and breaking his leg isn't newsworthy. That's just a possible outcome. That's like getting a daily news story about the sun rising; couldn't think of anything better to report on? Guy planning on jumping off a bridge gets into car accident and car plunges off bridge is newsworthy.
Really? That's the excuse he gave? He's not a morning person? C'mon, I would've gone with the "Arreola" angle. That's just got to piss someone off. Nipple is off to prison.
Failing to train officers on how to search a quadriplegic? Really? Should there be a standard? I mean how often are they planning on doing that? OK, maybe more so with OIF vets.
Late at night I come up with some of my more wackier ideas. Recently, I've been paying attention to the Valtrex commercials. Before I've always thought, "You're banging someone with gential herpes! Stop!" However, people have needs so I've kept my mouth shut (for the most part). What scares me is that it is more common than asthma and diabetes. The scariest part though? One study found that up to 70% of people who had genital herpes got it from their partner when they had no signs or symptoms of an outbreak. I'll explain myself because I owe you that much. 70%. That means that 30% of people that have genital herpes got it from their partner when there WERE signs/symptoms of an outbreak. 30% of the people thought, "Eh, f**k it, let's risk it." 30%. I bet these are some of the same people that look at their hand when they look at the warning signs on a shredder and think for a moment, "Why not?"
This guy is my hero. I mean, this guy is still living in the 60's. 1860's that is. Geez. I'll admit that it takes some guts to say what he's said but still. I'm going to mix some of his ideas here but stay with me. If stupidity is genetics, then women who find their unborn children have this gene should have abortions.
Again, we're not quite grasping the notion of what is newsworthy. Guy jumping off a bridge and breaking his leg isn't newsworthy. That's just a possible outcome. That's like getting a daily news story about the sun rising; couldn't think of anything better to report on? Guy planning on jumping off a bridge gets into car accident and car plunges off bridge is newsworthy.
Really? That's the excuse he gave? He's not a morning person? C'mon, I would've gone with the "Arreola" angle. That's just got to piss someone off. Nipple is off to prison.
Failing to train officers on how to search a quadriplegic? Really? Should there be a standard? I mean how often are they planning on doing that? OK, maybe more so with OIF vets.
Late at night I come up with some of my more wackier ideas. Recently, I've been paying attention to the Valtrex commercials. Before I've always thought, "You're banging someone with gential herpes! Stop!" However, people have needs so I've kept my mouth shut (for the most part). What scares me is that it is more common than asthma and diabetes. The scariest part though? One study found that up to 70% of people who had genital herpes got it from their partner when they had no signs or symptoms of an outbreak. I'll explain myself because I owe you that much. 70%. That means that 30% of people that have genital herpes got it from their partner when there WERE signs/symptoms of an outbreak. 30% of the people thought, "Eh, f**k it, let's risk it." 30%. I bet these are some of the same people that look at their hand when they look at the warning signs on a shredder and think for a moment, "Why not?"
Thursday, October 18, 2007
and action!
OK. So maybe the pipe was a little much. It's not like it was lethal injection. What I really want to know is what's the deal with the mysterious pickup truck? If the van hit the kids and it ran the stop sign, then didn't the pickup truck run the stop sign too? Or is this a case of felony hit and run?
I don't know what to say. I mean, everyone is wrong and everyone loses out in this one. Geez.
What people complained? Well, it wasn't the guys that complained... you know, unless the girls were fat. Maybe some of the other girls? Or it could be one of those adult lies where no one complains but where the administrator has to do something and just says "some people have complained..." in order to validate it.
Sweet Jesus! He melts in your mouth, not in your hands. Uh, yeah, that didn't sound right.
Well, at least some good came out of this. Actually, when I read the article it reminded me of 1999. One of my fratnerity brothers had us check out the RealDoll website. I don't know why, but we were surprised at the price of the dolls. It started at like $5000 but you could add customizations to it which raised the price even higher. It was kinda creepy what the website said they could do. So yeah, I've heard of RealDolls. And just to say it because it sounds racist. As an Asian, I take offense that the male doll is called "Charlie."
I use that excuse all the time. "Pick up that box." "Sorry, I can't, it's against my religion." See? What can you say to that? Are you questioning my faith? Want to get sued? Yeah, that's right, back down and lift your own damn boxes!
I don't know. Is it right religiously? Is it scientifically possible? Look, I'm not saying that it's a waste of time, but it'll help a lot of people understand? No. Genetically speaking, gays don't progress a species.
Hmm. Where to start? Obviously this guy had no idea how much the phone was worth. Plus, he can't negotiate to save his life. I mean, $185,000 for a phone? Maybe, in the future but not today. It's a random number. By that I mean that it wasn't like $190,000 or $200,000 but it was $185,000 and for me that big of a number is like you robbing a bank for $21.13. Exact change only! What really gets me though is that Lancaster, PA has indecent assault... whereas the converse of this would be decent assault?
Was the train moving? Relative to the Earth, to be specific.
Amateur writer. Which drew me away from the fact that the old lady fell to the ground instead of the guy she shot. Nothing funny about that.
Why does it matter if he was only wearing underwear? Besides making it funny it doesn't really help me understand the story.
I don't know what to say. I mean, everyone is wrong and everyone loses out in this one. Geez.
What people complained? Well, it wasn't the guys that complained... you know, unless the girls were fat. Maybe some of the other girls? Or it could be one of those adult lies where no one complains but where the administrator has to do something and just says "some people have complained..." in order to validate it.
Sweet Jesus! He melts in your mouth, not in your hands. Uh, yeah, that didn't sound right.
Well, at least some good came out of this. Actually, when I read the article it reminded me of 1999. One of my fratnerity brothers had us check out the RealDoll website. I don't know why, but we were surprised at the price of the dolls. It started at like $5000 but you could add customizations to it which raised the price even higher. It was kinda creepy what the website said they could do. So yeah, I've heard of RealDolls. And just to say it because it sounds racist. As an Asian, I take offense that the male doll is called "Charlie."
I use that excuse all the time. "Pick up that box." "Sorry, I can't, it's against my religion." See? What can you say to that? Are you questioning my faith? Want to get sued? Yeah, that's right, back down and lift your own damn boxes!
I don't know. Is it right religiously? Is it scientifically possible? Look, I'm not saying that it's a waste of time, but it'll help a lot of people understand? No. Genetically speaking, gays don't progress a species.
Hmm. Where to start? Obviously this guy had no idea how much the phone was worth. Plus, he can't negotiate to save his life. I mean, $185,000 for a phone? Maybe, in the future but not today. It's a random number. By that I mean that it wasn't like $190,000 or $200,000 but it was $185,000 and for me that big of a number is like you robbing a bank for $21.13. Exact change only! What really gets me though is that Lancaster, PA has indecent assault... whereas the converse of this would be decent assault?
Was the train moving? Relative to the Earth, to be specific.
Amateur writer. Which drew me away from the fact that the old lady fell to the ground instead of the guy she shot. Nothing funny about that.
Why does it matter if he was only wearing underwear? Besides making it funny it doesn't really help me understand the story.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
peaches
Good. A guy from my unit was one of the two killed in that attack.
Hmm. Good for the hat. See? When you're lost, just stay in one place. And that one place better be with your hat.
Women drivers. I'm surprised that she was just treated and released. I'd expect that she'd be arrested, you know, for driving INTO a hospital. Or if she had some sort of medical condition that she'd be held for observation. But nope, she got treated like a normal patient with a cold. Treated and released. I guess if you want to make it to the front of the line in a hospital you should just drive.
I'm healed! Of course they love it, I mean because they're all innocent too. You really think that a murderer is going to have a hard time lying? I'm glad they're treated with respect, because you know they did the same to their victims... you know up until the point that they killed them. Seriously, this is why I'm for just mass executions. Toss them all into a huge incinerator.
I don't understand why they're highlighting the fact that she was checking her mail. I mean, does it matter? Would the story lose meaning if they said "outside her house."? Now I'm scared to check the mail...
Duly noted. I must try this on her. I mean Jessica Biel.
I had an entirely different picture in mind. You know, when they say 'human shield' I'm thinking of the bad guys in the movies that grab the girl in the standoff with the good guy. Just instead of a bad guy it was a moose, and yes, he was holding a gun. Don't ask, it's just funny.
Items common to explosive components? Dude, a cell phone is an item common to an explosive component. A watch is an item common to an explosive component. A battery is an item common to an explosive component. Look, you're not being specific... I mean what explosive component is it similar to?
Goldilocks... Yup, if she tried that sh*t now, this is what the news story would look like. And instead of porridge it's crack cocaine.
She's lying. It's helpful to have $500 that you didn't have 3 days ago? But just awhile back you found $20,000 and nothing crossed your mind? Yeah, she's lying. I'm not saying she's a bad person but that's a bunch of bullsh*t. You can be a good person but then stumble across $20,000 and think just for a second of all the things you could do with that money. Then do the right thing and turn it in. I guess I'm just pissed that she thinks that everyone would go "Oh!!! $500 that I really didn't do anything for." But then go "Eh, $20,000. Whatever."
This piqued my interest, but then I got disappointed. He has arms, not functional but he has arms. I mean, he has armpits. You can't have armpits without... uh, let's see here. Arms!
Hehehe. You might as well try to pass off Monopoly money as a legal tender.
Hmm. Good for the hat. See? When you're lost, just stay in one place. And that one place better be with your hat.
Women drivers. I'm surprised that she was just treated and released. I'd expect that she'd be arrested, you know, for driving INTO a hospital. Or if she had some sort of medical condition that she'd be held for observation. But nope, she got treated like a normal patient with a cold. Treated and released. I guess if you want to make it to the front of the line in a hospital you should just drive.
I'm healed! Of course they love it, I mean because they're all innocent too. You really think that a murderer is going to have a hard time lying? I'm glad they're treated with respect, because you know they did the same to their victims... you know up until the point that they killed them. Seriously, this is why I'm for just mass executions. Toss them all into a huge incinerator.
I don't understand why they're highlighting the fact that she was checking her mail. I mean, does it matter? Would the story lose meaning if they said "outside her house."? Now I'm scared to check the mail...
Duly noted. I must try this on her. I mean Jessica Biel.
I had an entirely different picture in mind. You know, when they say 'human shield' I'm thinking of the bad guys in the movies that grab the girl in the standoff with the good guy. Just instead of a bad guy it was a moose, and yes, he was holding a gun. Don't ask, it's just funny.
Items common to explosive components? Dude, a cell phone is an item common to an explosive component. A watch is an item common to an explosive component. A battery is an item common to an explosive component. Look, you're not being specific... I mean what explosive component is it similar to?
Goldilocks... Yup, if she tried that sh*t now, this is what the news story would look like. And instead of porridge it's crack cocaine.
She's lying. It's helpful to have $500 that you didn't have 3 days ago? But just awhile back you found $20,000 and nothing crossed your mind? Yeah, she's lying. I'm not saying she's a bad person but that's a bunch of bullsh*t. You can be a good person but then stumble across $20,000 and think just for a second of all the things you could do with that money. Then do the right thing and turn it in. I guess I'm just pissed that she thinks that everyone would go "Oh!!! $500 that I really didn't do anything for." But then go "Eh, $20,000. Whatever."
This piqued my interest, but then I got disappointed. He has arms, not functional but he has arms. I mean, he has armpits. You can't have armpits without... uh, let's see here. Arms!
Hehehe. You might as well try to pass off Monopoly money as a legal tender.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
wall to wall
"No kitty, that's my pot pie!" Geez, you wouldn't think of pot pie as dangerous. Well, not more so than other pot pies.
Being in some criminal justice classes, we get both sides. And yes, it works. Of course being me, I also know the criminal side of things. Well there's a few tricks that good drunk drivers use. I just want to say that I've never been ticketed or arrested.
Well that definitely sounds honorable. I can't see why people would view them as "barbaric" or why we can't just all get along.
I suppose that in the UK they haven't uttered the phrase, "I've fallen and can't get up!"
Being in some criminal justice classes, we get both sides. And yes, it works. Of course being me, I also know the criminal side of things. Well there's a few tricks that good drunk drivers use. I just want to say that I've never been ticketed or arrested.
Well that definitely sounds honorable. I can't see why people would view them as "barbaric" or why we can't just all get along.
I suppose that in the UK they haven't uttered the phrase, "I've fallen and can't get up!"
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
big girls
My question is, where was the husband during all of this? Oh, he wasn't there. I'm sorry, but hugging is his job, not the police. And the police didn't haul her off to a holding cell until she pissed them off. Still, I've got to applaud the thoroughness of the medical examiner. It's like something off a TV show.
Well that just makes it OK. I mean, come on! Shoes!
Hmm, sounds vaguely familiar. OK, not the knocking out power but the fortitude of this kid. I mean, hungry, drive self to Applebee's. A sound plan in theory, a little less so in application. And you don't need the accelerator for reverse there geniuses. I'm assuming that this car was an automatic. If it wasn't I'd say that this kid was a bad-ass for trying to drive a manual. I just want to know if he got some food. And some advice for the little man, order take-out.
What? I'm assuming that Lisa Montgomery is one fat bitch if her husband couldn't tell she was pregnant. And I'm assuming that Kevin Montgomery is a moron for thinking that "nothing was strange" about his wife calling saying she had given birth. Yup, that shit just happens especially at a Long John Silver's. Don't even know you're pregnant because you can't get pregnant and pop goes the weasel. Ugh. Kevin needs to be sterilized.
Interesting. I've put some theories together on an alcoholic IV. I mean I'm lazy, why raise a glass to my mouth every few minutes when I could just change a bag once every few hours? Plus it doesn't breakdown in the stomach and is instead absorbed directly into the bloodstream therefore increasing the drunkedness. Some of the problems I've run into his adjusting the ratio, it has to be precise and caliberated for each person. Then you have to be able to cut yourself off because it will f*** you up if you don't. Plus it's not very mobile, you have to remain still which isn't a problem once you've succumb to alcohol poisoning, but after that it's a quick jog to the pearly gates. Yeah, maybe I've put too much thought into it.
Hahaha. A criminal field day. You just have to get 100 miles away and you're safe! How far out is the call? Yeah, sorry we've already driven 80 miles today and that call will take me pass my limit.
The prosecutor must be running for office or something soon. It's not about the donut but the assault? Did he run around the counter and shove the guy or was the baker blocking the door? Over a donut? C'mon!
Well that just makes it OK. I mean, come on! Shoes!
Hmm, sounds vaguely familiar. OK, not the knocking out power but the fortitude of this kid. I mean, hungry, drive self to Applebee's. A sound plan in theory, a little less so in application. And you don't need the accelerator for reverse there geniuses. I'm assuming that this car was an automatic. If it wasn't I'd say that this kid was a bad-ass for trying to drive a manual. I just want to know if he got some food. And some advice for the little man, order take-out.
What? I'm assuming that Lisa Montgomery is one fat bitch if her husband couldn't tell she was pregnant. And I'm assuming that Kevin Montgomery is a moron for thinking that "nothing was strange" about his wife calling saying she had given birth. Yup, that shit just happens especially at a Long John Silver's. Don't even know you're pregnant because you can't get pregnant and pop goes the weasel. Ugh. Kevin needs to be sterilized.
Interesting. I've put some theories together on an alcoholic IV. I mean I'm lazy, why raise a glass to my mouth every few minutes when I could just change a bag once every few hours? Plus it doesn't breakdown in the stomach and is instead absorbed directly into the bloodstream therefore increasing the drunkedness. Some of the problems I've run into his adjusting the ratio, it has to be precise and caliberated for each person. Then you have to be able to cut yourself off because it will f*** you up if you don't. Plus it's not very mobile, you have to remain still which isn't a problem once you've succumb to alcohol poisoning, but after that it's a quick jog to the pearly gates. Yeah, maybe I've put too much thought into it.
Hahaha. A criminal field day. You just have to get 100 miles away and you're safe! How far out is the call? Yeah, sorry we've already driven 80 miles today and that call will take me pass my limit.
The prosecutor must be running for office or something soon. It's not about the donut but the assault? Did he run around the counter and shove the guy or was the baker blocking the door? Over a donut? C'mon!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
tricycle
Danica McKellar was on HIMYM tonight. I had such a crush on her when I was a kid. I'm not kidding, honestly though who didn't love Winnie Cooper? What? And just because she's like super smart in Math isn't a total nerd turn-on, it's not like she's got a mathematical theorem named after her. Math doesn't suck! It's not like I'm obsessing over her. See how much I obsess? I'm not even going to point that at the end of the Pineapple Incident episode Ted said that he called her a left a voicemail, even though during tonight's episode he said he was too scared to call her after the Pineapple Incident. See? Not obsessing. I'm just glad they fit her in. How cool would it be if she turned out to be the "mother" in How I Met Your Mother?
Ah crap, now I've probably got to call my dad and talk. Uh, I mean, yay! Didn't buy it huh? Yeah, me neither.
On a serious note...
I'm touching upon this subject because I just wrote a paper in one of my criminal justice classes on what makes a cop and another on consolidation of police departments. The psych test is part of both. Still, I don't think that a psych test could've possibly prevented this. It's not like AR-15 rifles are banned in all states so it would be an easy purchase (you can get one for $600). And 30rds for 6 people? Not difficult either. I mean a pre-schooler could do the same amount of damage with a precision rifle like the AR-15. OK, maybe that's exaggerating details. My point is that you can't blame the psych test or lack thereof on this whole incident. Who would've thought that "worthless pig" would've made him snap? You can't blame police training on it either. 30rds for 6 people in a confined area? Please. That's 5 a piece. Now had he tossed in a flashbang and popped off 6 rounds for 6 people then, yeah, I'd blame the police training but that's not what happened.
I don't attribute his age as a factor either, like Steve Bocek blames either. You've never met a 20 year-old that was responsible enough to be a police officer? Tell you what Steve, go visit a military base. You've got 17 year olds shouldering that kind of responsibility, and well I might add.
Yes, it's sad, but don't blame others for the fault of one. He snapped. Nothing can change that. It was the police's fault, it wasn't even the kids that teased him. One man did this. Accept it.
Ah crap, now I've probably got to call my dad and talk. Uh, I mean, yay! Didn't buy it huh? Yeah, me neither.
On a serious note...
I'm touching upon this subject because I just wrote a paper in one of my criminal justice classes on what makes a cop and another on consolidation of police departments. The psych test is part of both. Still, I don't think that a psych test could've possibly prevented this. It's not like AR-15 rifles are banned in all states so it would be an easy purchase (you can get one for $600). And 30rds for 6 people? Not difficult either. I mean a pre-schooler could do the same amount of damage with a precision rifle like the AR-15. OK, maybe that's exaggerating details. My point is that you can't blame the psych test or lack thereof on this whole incident. Who would've thought that "worthless pig" would've made him snap? You can't blame police training on it either. 30rds for 6 people in a confined area? Please. That's 5 a piece. Now had he tossed in a flashbang and popped off 6 rounds for 6 people then, yeah, I'd blame the police training but that's not what happened.
I don't attribute his age as a factor either, like Steve Bocek blames either. You've never met a 20 year-old that was responsible enough to be a police officer? Tell you what Steve, go visit a military base. You've got 17 year olds shouldering that kind of responsibility, and well I might add.
Yes, it's sad, but don't blame others for the fault of one. He snapped. Nothing can change that. It was the police's fault, it wasn't even the kids that teased him. One man did this. Accept it.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
hip hop hooray
So sorry. You get to pretend you're someone else? So you're pretending you're not a geek huh? Try that on. Stereotypes? Sorry fat guy, you still fit it, like that shirt you were wearing. I don't know what's wrong with me...
Seriously, I have a problem. Not the one you're thinking. I like containers. Not sexually, but for some reason when I go to Ace Hardware, Wal-Mart, or any other place I always peruse the containers and I keep thinking how I could use them in my house. I've got containers within containers. It was functional at first, got a pile of crap that needed to be grouped together, get a container. Got some small things like car fuses? Get one of those sorters container. Now it's like, what else could I put in a container, or would my smaller containers fit in that big one? Need to vent on someone!!!
Aren't they always? I mean serial and mass killers? It's not like, "Well, it was just a matter of time before he started killing people, in fact, I think that Bob won the pool." They're always normal. And I love how the media emphasizes the fact that he was an "off-duty" sheriff. I don't think it would've been OK if he was. Like we have sheriff departments that authorize the use of deadly force for no reason. The proper response for a noise complaint? Execution. Yup. I guess it's for the morons out there that think that the police would do that.
I remember the days when I had to dress up for a flight. I hated it, but now it seems that you can't wear anything a 90 year-old churchgoing lady would deem "obscene." Patently Offensive? Hehe. Master Baiter.
The only thing that would make this weirder would be if the grandmother would serve as the surrogate. Wow, I thought that was bad, but this definitely takes the cake. Or at least until next week when someone decides to go with my idea...
It was National Porn Day? Ugh, why don't I get these memos? Got to love local news.
In the spirit of local news, I was driving down Rangeline and caught a pro-life sign display. I love those people! I mean, I learned in the 5th grade that if I was going to point out all of the flaws in an idea then I should come up with a better solution. Otherwise, to sit down and shut my trap. "Don't kill babies!" OK, so what do you want me to do? I can't support a child. You want to take'em? No? How about the thousands of others? No? They shut your trap. One less baby out there means one less possibility of them growing up and robbing me later. It's win-win for me.
In the spirit of being mean. God'll take care of the kids.
I love it when a spokesperson uses the phrase "super easy." It just exudes a high level of education doesn't it? Hehe. Super easy...
Seriously, I have a problem. Not the one you're thinking. I like containers. Not sexually, but for some reason when I go to Ace Hardware, Wal-Mart, or any other place I always peruse the containers and I keep thinking how I could use them in my house. I've got containers within containers. It was functional at first, got a pile of crap that needed to be grouped together, get a container. Got some small things like car fuses? Get one of those sorters container. Now it's like, what else could I put in a container, or would my smaller containers fit in that big one? Need to vent on someone!!!
Aren't they always? I mean serial and mass killers? It's not like, "Well, it was just a matter of time before he started killing people, in fact, I think that Bob won the pool." They're always normal. And I love how the media emphasizes the fact that he was an "off-duty" sheriff. I don't think it would've been OK if he was. Like we have sheriff departments that authorize the use of deadly force for no reason. The proper response for a noise complaint? Execution. Yup. I guess it's for the morons out there that think that the police would do that.
I remember the days when I had to dress up for a flight. I hated it, but now it seems that you can't wear anything a 90 year-old churchgoing lady would deem "obscene." Patently Offensive? Hehe. Master Baiter.
The only thing that would make this weirder would be if the grandmother would serve as the surrogate. Wow, I thought that was bad, but this definitely takes the cake. Or at least until next week when someone decides to go with my idea...
It was National Porn Day? Ugh, why don't I get these memos? Got to love local news.
In the spirit of local news, I was driving down Rangeline and caught a pro-life sign display. I love those people! I mean, I learned in the 5th grade that if I was going to point out all of the flaws in an idea then I should come up with a better solution. Otherwise, to sit down and shut my trap. "Don't kill babies!" OK, so what do you want me to do? I can't support a child. You want to take'em? No? How about the thousands of others? No? They shut your trap. One less baby out there means one less possibility of them growing up and robbing me later. It's win-win for me.
In the spirit of being mean. God'll take care of the kids.
I love it when a spokesperson uses the phrase "super easy." It just exudes a high level of education doesn't it? Hehe. Super easy...
Friday, October 05, 2007
pants are on fire
Oh, that's hot. Which is why I don't carry mine in my pocket. I was going to say, "are you just happy to see me or is your iPod on fire?" But that seemed lame. Yup, it's lame. I like the line here. "If you can't stand the heat, get the iPod out of your pocket."
What people with money will pay for. Seriously, a $1000 for an omlette? It better be garnished with gold with a side of gold. And a pizza? Can you imagine having that delivered? And then tipping? What would be the protocol on that?
How much do you expect a three year-old to say? And this kid puts "Survivorman" to shame. C'mon, in about 15 years I can see this kid hosting his own TV show. Of course those of you that think that if a three year-old can do it, so can you... uh, go ahead the world's better off without you.
Why was the 7 year-old driving? "Honey you steer while mommy puts on her make-up." This is why we don't give driver's licenses to 7 year-olds. They can't tell the difference between the brake and the accelerator.
What people with money will pay for. Seriously, a $1000 for an omlette? It better be garnished with gold with a side of gold. And a pizza? Can you imagine having that delivered? And then tipping? What would be the protocol on that?
How much do you expect a three year-old to say? And this kid puts "Survivorman" to shame. C'mon, in about 15 years I can see this kid hosting his own TV show. Of course those of you that think that if a three year-old can do it, so can you... uh, go ahead the world's better off without you.
Why was the 7 year-old driving? "Honey you steer while mommy puts on her make-up." This is why we don't give driver's licenses to 7 year-olds. They can't tell the difference between the brake and the accelerator.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
me, me, me, me, me
So yesterday I got to hold my nephew for the first time! Yay! Yeah, I know, it's a girly emotion but I can't help it. We had a long time, well, I guess I did most of the talking. Plus, he fell asleep through my speech.
Today, I took the TSA entry test. It was supposed to take approximately 2.5hrs but I got it done in 45 minutes. I didn't do well in one of the sections and there were only two sections... so. At the end of the test the friendly computer screen told me that I would find out how I did within a week. True to their word, about nine hours later I got an email that said I passed the exam. Huh. It was graded that quickly? What the hell were they basing the results on? The attendance? FYI, yeah, I got to look at pictures of the x-rays of luggages. And I got to say, I have no idea what I was looking at. I have no idea what the hell they're looking at when they watch that screen. Seriously!
So tonight in my criminal justice class, we had to use the computer to find a news story and do a reverse police incident report on it. Of course we'd have to make up some of the details but the idea was to get us used to the form used. Being me, I found a great story to reverse an incident report. However, my friend found one this one and I suggested that instead of making it an incident report, make it an arrest report. Hehe. Mr. Potatohead got arrested.
You know you've hit rock bottom when Sinead O'Connor feels sorry for you.
Boy, who'd think that deaf kids could be so cruel? And you know what's worse? All I can picture is the deaf kids laughing... you know that funny way that they laugh because they can't hear themselves.
Haha. Sorry, the primary headline read "China Winning Moon Race." And I thought... wait, it is 1967? Wouldn't it be great if Neil left a note up there? "Been there, done that." And then the Chinese found it? Ha!
Things to die for. Which is not funny, but I'm going to go ahead and guess that they were black. What? Not because it was a violent crime! Geez you racist! I'm going off the names.
Local news: There are a lot worse things in the world than this. Throwing a picture? Geez! What would happen if it was a hand grenade? OK, it was an "explicit" but oh my!
Today, I took the TSA entry test. It was supposed to take approximately 2.5hrs but I got it done in 45 minutes. I didn't do well in one of the sections and there were only two sections... so. At the end of the test the friendly computer screen told me that I would find out how I did within a week. True to their word, about nine hours later I got an email that said I passed the exam. Huh. It was graded that quickly? What the hell were they basing the results on? The attendance? FYI, yeah, I got to look at pictures of the x-rays of luggages. And I got to say, I have no idea what I was looking at. I have no idea what the hell they're looking at when they watch that screen. Seriously!
So tonight in my criminal justice class, we had to use the computer to find a news story and do a reverse police incident report on it. Of course we'd have to make up some of the details but the idea was to get us used to the form used. Being me, I found a great story to reverse an incident report. However, my friend found one this one and I suggested that instead of making it an incident report, make it an arrest report. Hehe. Mr. Potatohead got arrested.
You know you've hit rock bottom when Sinead O'Connor feels sorry for you.
Boy, who'd think that deaf kids could be so cruel? And you know what's worse? All I can picture is the deaf kids laughing... you know that funny way that they laugh because they can't hear themselves.
Haha. Sorry, the primary headline read "China Winning Moon Race." And I thought... wait, it is 1967? Wouldn't it be great if Neil left a note up there? "Been there, done that." And then the Chinese found it? Ha!
Things to die for. Which is not funny, but I'm going to go ahead and guess that they were black. What? Not because it was a violent crime! Geez you racist! I'm going off the names.
Local news: There are a lot worse things in the world than this. Throwing a picture? Geez! What would happen if it was a hand grenade? OK, it was an "explicit" but oh my!
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
find it!
Local news, because local news is hilarious...
It seemed to make sense at the time didn't it? I mean it's playground rules! Someone bites you? You bite back! And you bite hard!
Bouncing babies. No one is at fault here, except for maybe God. You know, for creating gravity and all that.
Here's why I don't drive on I-65. Flying toilets are a big drawback to choosing routes. I don't know if there's any real training out there that can prepare you for a toilet coming at you at 80mph.
Non-local news... because they're just as ridiculous as local news.
Hugs that are too close? Maybe it wasn't the best word to describe what they meant to say. Perhaps they meant to say was "too intimate?" I think that'd do it. And hugs? Inappropriate? Since when? Maybe we'd have less school shootings if those kids got more hugs! Hehe, I just realized I sounded like a hippie.
Wait. What? She was locked inside of a clinic? Eventually she had to call the cops and she unlocked the door to let them in. Um, so why couldn't she just unlock the door and walk out? Oh, because she wanted to make it a huge deal. Sorry, my bad. Just lie there, it's cool, some news reporters should be by soon.
It seemed to make sense at the time didn't it? I mean it's playground rules! Someone bites you? You bite back! And you bite hard!
Bouncing babies. No one is at fault here, except for maybe God. You know, for creating gravity and all that.
Here's why I don't drive on I-65. Flying toilets are a big drawback to choosing routes. I don't know if there's any real training out there that can prepare you for a toilet coming at you at 80mph.
Non-local news... because they're just as ridiculous as local news.
Hugs that are too close? Maybe it wasn't the best word to describe what they meant to say. Perhaps they meant to say was "too intimate?" I think that'd do it. And hugs? Inappropriate? Since when? Maybe we'd have less school shootings if those kids got more hugs! Hehe, I just realized I sounded like a hippie.
Wait. What? She was locked inside of a clinic? Eventually she had to call the cops and she unlocked the door to let them in. Um, so why couldn't she just unlock the door and walk out? Oh, because she wanted to make it a huge deal. Sorry, my bad. Just lie there, it's cool, some news reporters should be by soon.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
moments of happiness
There are a few precious moments that can truly be classified as happiness. I've found one. Last night I went to Wal-Mart and picked up How I Met Your Mother (Season 2) at 12:30am. I also picked up Fantastic Four: Rising of the Silver Surfer as well as Superman/Doomsday.
Now, I'm sitting on the couch and watching How I Met Your Mother! Happiness...
Now, I'm sitting on the couch and watching How I Met Your Mother! Happiness...
Monday, October 01, 2007
click click click
You know, sometimes I just want to stick them in a big camp where they can't hurt people. Maybe put some big furnaces to keep them warm in the winter... Is that bad?
How f**ked up do you have to be to carry your own grandkids? Don't get me wrong, it's admirable, but that doesn't make it any less f**ked up. I'd really like to be there when they explain it to the twins that grandma gave birth to them, not their mommy. Talk about a great environment for a serial killer. Whew, and they're twins?
Here's an idea. Get a beeper! The ol' dial and hang up routine huh? Just like when I was younger and called a girl but hung up because I was too nervous to talk to her.
I found it funny because one of my good friends from college just had a kid. A beautiful, bouncing boy named Will. So in a way, I've become an uncle.
And why guys end up pissing on everything.
How f**ked up do you have to be to carry your own grandkids? Don't get me wrong, it's admirable, but that doesn't make it any less f**ked up. I'd really like to be there when they explain it to the twins that grandma gave birth to them, not their mommy. Talk about a great environment for a serial killer. Whew, and they're twins?
Here's an idea. Get a beeper! The ol' dial and hang up routine huh? Just like when I was younger and called a girl but hung up because I was too nervous to talk to her.
I found it funny because one of my good friends from college just had a kid. A beautiful, bouncing boy named Will. So in a way, I've become an uncle.
And why guys end up pissing on everything.
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